i’m back,for now March 29, 2009

i haven’t blogged for a while because there was nothing interesting that happened to me.it’s much tougher now.integration has made me lose sleep.sometimes i wake up during my sleep/nap just because i could not complete my homework.it’s so F***ING stressful.gosh.anyway,my mum insists that i come back to sitiawan this week.that’s because she missed me.i haven’t been in sitiawan for so long.since then,marybrown finally closed its sitiawan branch.hahaha.

anyway,people tend to stay at home during the weekends.they sleep in,watch TV,relax.did i do that on saturday morning?nooooooo.i went to kem kota instead,the campsite for pentarafan pengakap raja (king scout test).ahhh.this place brought back memories.coffee;sweaty,smelly people;lots of bamboos and mangrove wood;overweight smokers.i wore half uniform because i was afraid that if i show up in shorts i wouldn’t be let in.however,when you see the sentry guards at the entrance of the camp acting like this……….

you know that the camp organisers are very lenient.if you look at arronan,he’s ready to finger ang.now i know why certain quaters claim that scouts are gay.

when i was here for pembantu (assisting duties),it was a known fact that we have to be on our toes and be ready to offer assistance.menolong orang pada setiap masa (assisting others at all times):that is the oath for scouts worldwide.i was shocked when i saw………..

a whole bunch of them talking at the food stall.fine,maybe it was their break time……

but for all ACS-ians to take a break simultaneously?something is not right…………

yeap.prashan was there.he’s a king scout now.its all thanks to my guidance,and guidance from others.hahahahahha.

hahahaha.yeah.we are two of the nicest people in sitiawan.ahahahaha.

yeap.justin agreed to that notion all right.ahahahaha.the indian guy beside him is sutarshan.he’s a funny fellow.

the stalls were not hygienic.that was why we drove to ayer tawar for lunch.

its frustating at first.i just reached the campsite and parked my car when justin and 3 others were walking towards his car.”lunch.let’s go!”.cikupap!i was at ayer tawar some good 10 minutes ago.when we all sat down at the table and talked,it was well worth it.it does not happen always when we could all sit at a table and talk.

anyway,after a few hours with smelly people who didn’t bathe,its time to  bid farewell.

hahahaha.i had to go because i had a facial appointment at 5.30pm

hey,the facial was done at the shop beside koleksi anda ok!hehehehe

2nd dragon ball this year.lets go!!!!

the boy who was not alone on the most (supposedly) romantic day of 2009 February 15, 2009

i’m proud to say that i was not alone for this year’s valentine’s day.

everybody meet soowen.she’s a law student at ATC.she’s not taller than me.if you think i’m dating her……..

think again…hahahahahah

to those of you who think i only have female friends,here’s a picture to show that i DO have guy friends (i told you so,arroneng!!)

hahaha.yes.i was not alone on valentine’s day this year.we went for a singles’ party.all the participants are my classmates except for soowen.there was supposed to be more people (especially girls) but they could not make it.

we had dinner at kaki corner.i was first to arrive at 6.30pm.by that time,finding parking nearby the food joint was almost impossible.soowen and yiwen came 10 minutes later.the rest showed up after 7pm.although i was the first to arrive,i got my food the last.bad service,really.

*********************************************************************

IT’S FUN TO STAY AT THE……….

Y

M

C

A

hahaha.i had to do the YMCA dance.it was a DARE.hehe.charissa,soowen,yiwen and i played ‘ji ku ba’ (rock paper scissors) where the winner gets to punish the loser who has to choose between truth or dare.

charissa and a random guy.her dare was wishing a random guy “happy valentine’s day”.we had actually wanted her to wish an old man (there were plenty and they brought along their spouses amd kids) but she settled on this one.haha.and the guy went perasan and gave her a card containing his contact details.that guy has no balls!!his friend gave her the card.his friend asked her to contact him.wtf.you want to get to know her,you make the effort lah!bodoh.hahaha.

there were around three muscular guys who were waiters there and my dare was to get a picture with one of them.this guy thought i was gay when i asked him to pose with me.ahahahaha.

soowen and joshua.i forgot why we took this photo.it’s something about what she said when she lost.she never does dares.joshua has nice eyebrows though.

soowen grabbing weexian’s arm.he has the best muscle definition in class.oh how i long for his cutting…..

after dinner,we went over to charissa’s place to look at the view of kl.unfortunately,trees were blocking the view.it doesn’t matter anyway,i had fun.

hahaha.we are not sakai-s la

hehe.we are just having some fun.

i wonder what was kenneth ogling at.hmmm.

haha.kahjun was attempting a stunt and everyone was looking.

a close up.but still,we can’t make up what he was doing.

ahah!a couple caught in the act berdua-duan.

i wonder who could they be????

hahaha.so paiseh.it was jueanne and me!!those  pictures were taken when i was trying to korek her secrets.

group photo of all the participants of the singles’ party.hahaha.

valentine’s day was not made for couples.single people have the right to enjoy it too.despite a romantic experience for you and your special one being one of the precious moments in life,having a day our with freinds and keeping each other entertained is worth remembering and doing.

however, i would like to say that some people are so freaking inconsiderate that they park at places they shouldn’t just so that they could enjoy a romantic view while upholding traffic.do you have your brains in your ass?park somewhere else (not on the side of a narrow road) and walk towards the lookout point lah!!

i read your email yuanwen.you’ll have  your plush bear soon.ehehehehe.by the way,wedding dresses are supposed to be white!happy valentine’s day!!

the boy who is able to celebrate a huge festivity due to one half of his cultural upbringing February 12, 2009

to those who bugged me about not updating my blog,i said i was returning after chinese new year!!if you are smart enough,you would know that there are 15 days before chinese new year officially ends.technically,i’m only 3 days late.

anyway,i celeberated chinese new year in sitiawan this year.i did not get the expensive tickets back to my mum’s hometown which is located at East Malaysia and accessible only by aircrafts (although a ferry would do but it is NOT a sensible choice).here are the things i did during chinese new year

chinese new year eve

i had reunion dinner at home.haha.its very weird when my family actually sat down at the dining area and eat.usually,i’ll eat and finish first followed by other family members.i guess that’s what reunion dinners are for.later,i went over to chianwoon’s house at 10pm.i fetched arronan with me.at about 10.30pm,ang proposed a notion to meet with azizi TNB.haha.i haven’t seen him in a year so i decided to pay him a visit.but as we made our move,yvonne scolded us in chinese.i couldn’t get what she was saying but i certainly can feel her displeasure from the tone of her voice.anyway,spent a good 20 minutes at his house before sending arronan home.reached home around 11.15pm.yes,i went home early to hit the sack so that i could have sufficient energy for the ipoh trip my mum suggested the next day.however…….

first day of chinese new year

…THE TRIP WAS CANCELLED!!!!!wah.i was so pissed when i found out the next morning.i was really really really REALLY looking forward to the ipoh trip.it was so unfair.i went home early,i slept early,i woke up early but i didn’t get to go to ipoh.mum knew about my displeasure (i think it was etched on my face) so she made up for it by bringing me to fullpann for dinner.hahaha.i prefer capri though but hey,beggars can’t be choosers.there i met joanne ho,my tadika girlfriend (sort of…hehehe) and her family of course.haha.she was my best friend in tadika.even my dad remembers her name!!haha.when my dad remembers one of my friends,he/she must have made quite an impression.so far,he could only remember ang,justin,arronan,ramanan,glenn,chiaching,yihan and erm,the list ends there.haha.sadly,joanne and i grew further apart (guess its my fault).anyway,my mum’s treat of redemption doesn’t end there….

second day of chinese new year

i started off the sunny,beautiful day with……

 A NEW PAIR OF SANDALS!!!woot.haha.yeah yeah yeah.an amazing pair of footwear that was bought when the day was still young.i forgot what was the model of the sandals though.it was something like weatherwalker 4 or something.haha.who cares.i’ll just rename it as magic sandals 3 in line with my other magical footwear.my first pair of sandals lasted me a good 2 years before succumbing to the harsh wear and tear inflicted by my big feet.my second pair which costs rm10 more outdid itself by lasting 3 years!even the longest serving magic shoes i have is in its third year (its because i barely wear them).since my new sandals cost me more than double the price of the previous pair,i hope it will last more than double the time,which is more than 6years.

isn’t it a beauty???turns out that daryl and supposedly kennyhar has the exact same pair!!great minds think alike!

with a brand new pair of sandals,i made my way to jiayo’s house.it was surprising that her dad knew me.that’s because i’m sure that i have never met him prior to her daughter’s invitation to the organised gathering.he even served me tea.j-cyn wore a skirt that day.really surprising.when i asked whether the skirt was her mum’s,she gave me her stern (albeit not that intimidating) look and said “ITS MINE!!!”.haha.sorry???

anyway,after a quick lunch,we went to hanshin’s house.yeah.i had a mini crush on her but that was a long time ago.hohoho.it was so cosy that you can practically sleep there.the weather was sleep-inducing too.it was raining heavily.i notice daryl dozing off for a few minutes.that was before……BLACK JACK!!!

hehe.daryl looking to win big.he was at first.hoesiang was the unfortunate one to be the banker.he was giving out money like an ATM

haha.chiaching getting all hyped up.i got a small gain from gambling there.with a rm3,i made a profit of rm5.woot.but the biggest winner of was hoesiang.he made a profit of rm150++.the reason for his big win?aunties who bet big!

haha.valentine’s day is this saturday alan!!!go for it!!!

then we went over to yuanwen’s house.she has a nice backyard.

we continued blackjack.i quit when i lost the rm5 that i have won.hehe.gambling was so stressful.

that’s why its best to have your own OSIM human masseuse!haha.she has great hands you know.its sad how she could not massage me harder.

later that night,i went over to chooiping’s house.it turns out we were gonna celebrate her birthday that night.had cake and played with firecrackers.

gosh.i’m fatter.need to shed the fats A.S.A.P.hahaha,we didn’t get to set off the rocket because chooiping’s dad said it was dangerous.hahaha.we had fun especially yuanwen.she never played firecrackers before.hahaha.somehow hanshin looks very attractive when playing with firecrackers.hmmmmm

third night of chinese new year

we went over to weijian’s house.

weijian is a very generous man.he gave me rm5 after 4 rounds of gambling.woot.i stopped after winning rm5.i don’t gamble much.hehehe.anyway,i decided to play “slap dai dee” with chiaching,daryl and yvonne.its “cho dai dee” with a twist really.the winner gets to slap the loser.2 cards=1 slap.”dai dee” was never my forte.as a result,i got 3 slaps from chiaching,1 tender-loving pat on the cheek by yvonne,and 7 heavy ones from daryl.total slaps received=14! total slaps given=4.haha.not bad.i won and got the chance to slap daryl. “slap him hard…don’t give face…you’ll regret!!” chiaching told me that it would be a mistake for not slapping daryl full force.i was overcome with guilt when i slapped daryl.when he slapped me,i know why i shouldn’t have held back.7 heavy,monstrous blows.they were like punches.serious.his hands were big.chiaching’s slaps were not as painful as daryl’s,but they lingered on for a very long time.guess it’s because of his long,thin fingers.i wondered how my slaps feel.hmmm.anyway,we covered our ears when we received the slaps.it’s to ensure that we don’t damage our eardrums and go deaf.think twice before slapping someone.

the night was still young as we entered the……

fourth day of chinese new year

i followed chiaching’s car to mcd.it was the most hillarious car ride i’ve sat on.its amazing how alcohol really affects the brain.alan was saying stuff that only a drunk alan can cay.its too explicit to be written down here.if you wanna know what he said,just get him drunk and most probably you’ll get the same thing i got.

chicken prosperity burger was not bad,but not good either,rm16++ for a combo is really expensive but when i got twister fries,i ain’t complaining.hahaha.next,we went to titi panjang to play snooker.well,they played snooker.alan,chiaching and i went to sing karaoke.rm1.50 for a song.it was not a bad price.after paying for 7 songs,we went into the room only to be joined by ian,ang and eventually the rest of the gang minutes into our first song, mambo no 5.i now know why people sing karaoke.it was a stress reliever.we had so much fun singing songs like YMCA,mamma mia,you give love a bad name,country road among others.then we paid for more songs.we even sang songs from weijian’s favourite band,the backsidestreet boys.hahaha,truth to be told,every boy dreamt about being a backstreet boy when they were younger.that is until they reach their teens where their taste evolved into something more like coldplay,foo fighters,kanye west,alicia keys,john legend just to name a few.it was fun being a backstreet boy!!!anyway,i just let my friends know that i’m a terrible singer.frankly,i knew this day would come and i don’t care!!!

the day (night actually) was not over yet.i reached home at 3-ish.slept and woke up at 3.40-ish to gastric attack.wtf.damn painful.i couldn’t sleep and i finally gave in to the pain,seeking help from mum to send me to a 24 hour clinic.i was charged rm 65 for a bottle of milk of magnesia (rm2 at megan kong’s mum’s pharmacy),9 orange tablets (rm2 for 12 tablets at a local pharmacy),5 white tablets (price unknown) and a jab at my right cheek (waist down).the jab was more painful that a shot in the arm.time i slept=7am.

then i woke up at 11am.took my bath and breakfast and went for an avatar-and-dexter-receiving,ego-boosting trip over to yuanwen’s.we talked for a short while before i’m off to home.i then hit the sack again.

woke up in time to go to yuki’s place for CNY gathering.she was having a barbeque.i only had fried meehoon because i’m supposed to avoid oily and spicy food.we then played electric current.yvonne tried to get the boys to play “slap dai dee” but no one was willing.she was trying to convince people to play.i’m not sure but it seems like she likes to see men in pain.S&M fan maybe???ouch.haha.then i found out that another person knew who stole the cookie from the cookie jar.since she knows,i’m assuming that her friend knows as well.total number of people who knows who stole the cookie from the cookie jar=6-ish (it could be 7 depending whether the 7th one is sure or not).too many people know who stole the cookies.guess i have to erase them one by one starting with a certain yellow bear who wears a tight red shirt.just kidding.frankly,it does not really matter if everyone knows who stole the cookie from the cookie jar.on that note,it is still inappropriate for those who know to spread the news.if word leaks out,i’m coming for your head yellow bear!

chinese new year celebration in KL

haha.i only went to two houses to celebrate.

jueanne’s birthday was on the 2nd of february.her mum invited us for her surprise party.i made her a birthday card.as you can see,my artwork is atrocious.haha.we played cards and had a slice of suchan cake.the cake was fantastic.a few days later went over to yiwen’s house.haha.more gambling ensued and i lost rm15!!!that was my modal.lost it completely.haha.on a plus point,a girl taught me how to view upskirts.i’m so not kidding you!!!!

hahahaha.CNY to me,is just another event to bring friends and family together.many youngsters today care about the drinking,the gambling,the girls in sexy clothes and not to forget the red packets.they have lost sight on what’s really important about CNY.culture.tradition.family.fellowship.bonding.fun.

most chinese (and indians) drink during CNY.get a designated driver.please…..

don’t drink and drive!

the boy who is forced to take a break January 4, 2009

no

emotional

reasons

for

this

sabbatical

i’m

just

having

exams

be

back

soon

after

CNY

gong

xi

fa

chai

don’t

drink

and

drive

buckle

up

your

rear

seat

belts

this

is

SO

not

a

community

message

from

Seat-belt Singh (the punjab guy who’s always on TV asking people to buckle up…don’t know his name though)

and

JKJR (Jabatan Keselamatan Jalan Raya)

pandu

cermat

jiwa

selamat

klang

bak ku teh

two

months

without

oreos

and

still

counting

get

well

soon

winnie

har

you

think

you’re

loving

but

you

don’t

love

me

sudoku

newspapers

hope

you

don’t

get

bored

autobots:

TRANSFORM

AND

ROLL

OUT!!!!!

the boy who thinks that the world is orbitting the sun a little bit too fast December 31, 2008

is it just me or time flew really fast.the final day of 2008 (as of today)  and tomorrow will be a brand new year,brand new beginning and a brand new chapter in my life.

a lot has happened this year.friends took different paths to achieve their goals.some of their paths crossed and some seemed like a twisted,neverending road with no visible junctions in sight (like mine).

i made new friends along the way.some as acquaintances,some as good friends (i hope).

i never achieved any of my resolutions made at the start of the year.guess i shouldn’t have made resolutions.instead,i should make goals throughout the year.

i let my hair grow.some liked it,some disliked it.SHE likes it.then i shaved my head.some liked it,some disliked it.SHE had no comment.

i had regrets (who doesn’t).from decisions that should have been made when the sun has not risen,and those that should have been made ages before i left.things would have been different if  i took the risks.alas,i’m just a indecisive fool  not willing to take chances.it’s time to look for new ones.

my facial hair is a disgrace.no matter how long i left it to grow,it still can’t grow decently.my hands are no longer as smooth as they used to be.time to apply lotion.

i lost weight.gained.lost.build.gained.lost.lost.lost.smaller in size now.

i’ve waited for the plane but it crashed before it could land.i missed another flight as i was waiting for the earlier-mentioned plane.i wanted to board another plane but there were no tickets.i’m still stuck at the airport.alone.

i finally worn my sandals out.going to buy new ones.currently in flip-flops.

i gained a new skill.lost my shooting touch.still can’t dribble well with my left hand.hangtime is longer than before although there’s not much elevation.i now have ‘the floater’.

i’ve become fairer.no help from whitening creams.just grew fairer naturally.

still short.haven’t grown in height.but grown in stature =p

controlled my swearing self.became more polite.reserved.rarely hyper.but still immature.

my chinese is still of primary 1 standard.my cantonese is hopeless.my tamil…………my BM has deteriorated.my english is not as it used to be.

coldplay rocks.keane’s good.just discovered james morisson.sang to all james blunt’s songs.shaking my head to kanye west.relaxed to john legend.think things through with alicia keys.

i’ve changed.SHE has changed.YOU have changed.i don’t know YOU anymore.a new vase for a new plant?i liked the previous flower better.or maybe i missed out on the growing plant………a new trim job as an excuse for a new vase??

this song’s for YOU……..

She got out of town
On a railway New York bound
Took all except my name
Another alien on Broadway
There’s some things in this world
You just can’t change
Somethings you can’t see
Until it gets too late
Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I’m up against out in this world
Maybe, maybe, maybe
You’ll find something
That’s enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don’t receive you
You should turn yourself around
And come on home
I got a hole in me now
Yeah,I got a scar I can talk about
She keeps a picture of me
In her apartment in the city
Some things in this world
Man, they don’t make sense
Some things you don’t need
Until they leave you
And they’re things that you miss
Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I’m up against out in this world
Maybe, maybe, maybe
You’ll find something
That’s enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don’t receive you
You should turn yourself around
And come on home
Let that city take you in, come on home
Let that city spit you out, come on home
Let that city take you down, yeah
God’s sake turn around
Baby, baby, baby
When all your love is gone
Who will save me
From all I’m up against in this world
Maybe, maybe, maybe
You’ll find something
That’s enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don’t receive you
You should turn yourself around
And come on home
Come on home
Baby, baby, baby
Come on home
Yeah, come on home
Yeah, come on home

matchbox 20-bright lights.fantastic song

i’m looking forward to my last year as a teenager.i haven’t done anything that i can best remember about my teenage life so far.what ever happened to the proposal of hiking up to Genting Highlands?

my hopes for 2009

• a healthier year for family,friends and me
• a death free 2009
• an uncle cured of cancer
• a dad cured of whatever he’s having
• klang bak ku teh
• transformers 2:revenge of the fallen
• terminator salvation
• sunsilk modelling contract..ehehehehe
• the end of the economic recession
• the end to PAS’s idiotic political stands
• the end of Arsenal’s barren trophy spell
• bigger build
• firmer butt
• an end to my mum’s views on my blog
• moving on to bigger things

happy new year!!!!!

the boy who underwent self-inflicted mental torture (again) and steps he took to dampen the effect December 27, 2008

my mum trapped me at home every night.i have a curfew.sigh.my holidays are not going as well as i have planned.i only met some of my friends after a WEEK back in sitiawan.argh!stupid final exams in january!damn you!holidays lost its holiness when you spent majority of it studying

anyway,here’s what i did to relieve stress

i went bowling

haha.weijian,junbiao,jacob,tizebin and i went for bowling at our local bowling alley.it’s funny how they woke up early just to play bowling.however,it made lots of sense.early birds get rm2.50 a game.i went once and finished 2nd twice in 5 games.not bad eh!

i went for snooker

i went for snooker at SRC (Sitiawan Recreational Club).i didn’t know sitiawan actually has such a cool place.wow.after 17 years of living in sitiawan,i had never stepped in there before.when i did step in,it was for badminton and snooker.we actually have to get the balls from the bar.what do you know?you have to wear long pants and covered shoes to enter.haha.we are all in shorts and flip-flops (well,i was the only one with flip-flops…the rest were with slippers) so when we entered the bar,some old farts were making a ruckus.

old man1:wei….look at them…they are wearing slippers…cannot cannot!!!

oldman2:yeah yeah…they wearing shorts…what is this???

oldman3:don’t worry, they are here for the balls…they are playing snooker upstairs.

yeah old farts!we are going upstairs.why are you feeling violated?you’ve already violated it with the cigarettes and alcohol.just shut up and drink as well as smoke your way to a shorter life.

weijian in action.i suck at this game.i was practically ’santa claus’.i was giving away points because of the many fouls i’ve made

the score since the beginning and throughout the  first game…..

the score at the end of the first game.ehehehe.not bad.anyway,i had a healthy lead of 16 during the second game (no kidding) but ended up with 0 at the end.i’m no good at this.

celebrated the winter solstice fesitval

mmmmm.tangyuan in the making.haha.these dough will be rolled into balls and fed to me!!ahahahah.me!!! (i’m a greedy pig).

it was supposed to be a family affair but my mum chased me out of the kitchen.the other lady is my neighbour/hairstylist.she asked me to show me my girlfriend’s picture.i told her i never had one.gosh.people think that when you study in KL you should get a girlfriend.it’s not easy when you’re vertically challenged ok!

anyway,legend has it that if you collect 7 balls,the sky will go dark and a magical dragon will appear before you and grant you 3 wishes.once granted,the 7 balls will be scattered across the world.what do you know?i have the 7 balls!!!

the sky did turned dark alright,only for it to rain.no dragon.no wish granted.sigh.if i had three wishes they would be:

1. grow taller till my height reaches at least 180cm

2.have enough money for my education

3.for it to snow in malaysia during my birthday.ahahahahah

sadly;instead of getting three wishes granted,i became a mythbuster.sigh.

let a girl do whatever she wants with my hair using hair wax and temporary hair dyes

well,it was amazing that my hair could be transformed into something like this since it was short.good job shuwai.haha.why on earth did i sit at a table where i was the only guy at aoife’s birthday party?so i had to be kambing korban.at first when shuwai applied wax on my head it was kinda relaxing.from that point onwards i was wishing that she could apply wax/shampoo on my hair daily.that is until she pulled my hair to give it a spiky look.it was so painful.credit should be given to her though.my hair looks good at the back but not at the front (to me la….i felt i looked like hoe siang…no offense shuwai!!!).

hehe.like i said,my hair was short and thin.after the spikes are made,you can clearly see my scalp.

my hair was like a KH project,sprayed in different colours.

ate roti canai milo

ahahaha.roti canai milo was interesting.i knew the existence from guangshi.she had it in klang.i never heard about it in sitiawan so i decided to give it a shot.haha.the result:sweet and must be eaten when its hot.or else it’ll  get stuck between your teeth.

got a present for christmas

haha.i got a present for christmas.it means that i’m a good boy.naughty children don’t get presents.just ask jueanne or ang.even jacob didn’t get one.hahahahha.

hahaha.by the way,i discovered that i get panic attacks easily.like when my dad didn’t reach home even when its past midnight (he usually reaches latest by 11pm),i panicked and imagined him being involved in an accident or worse.the problem of having an active imagination is that you can’t really control the thoughts in your head when a situation is given to you.so i need to be distracted from those horrid thoughts or being reassured and comforted.thank you shehulk!this means that my girlfriend must stay calm and reassure/comfort/distract me when i’m having a panic attack.i’m very good at scaring myself.hahaha.so,that requirement goes down with other BASIC qualities in the list to become a potential girlfriend of mine

1. long hair (at least shoulder length)
2. nice eyes
3. witty
4. talks in english most of the time
5. can engage in intelligent conversation (i don’t want to talk crap most of the time)
6. mature (so that it’ll rub off on me)

haha.any potential suitors?ehehehehe

the boy who has found a way to look taller although in real life he is vertically challenged (SHORT!!!) December 18, 2008

the SALSA of my college had organised “starry night” which is an annual dinner for students like me.for those not in the know,SALSA in this case,is not a type of latin dance,but is an abbreviation for School of A-Levels’ Students Association.really?hahaha.i have no idea on what SALSA means either although i got the first three letters of SALSA right.eheheeheh.

anyway,at first,not many were willing to go except a notable student and jueanne.hahaha.the rest did not want to go.why aren’t they interested?its once in a course (for january intake….april and june get to go twice!) affair.hahaha.for starters,it fell on a thursday night,which effectively killed any hopes for an afterparty (in my case…some actually went for an afterparty).second (again in my case),not glamorous enough.ahahaha.it is a semi-formal affair so i was not expecting the girls to dress up nicely.i was soon to be proven wrong.

how did we all go?well,it was due to the assistant head of the department,Ms Nalina.she somehow influenced us to go,with a story about us being ugly ducklings who turned into swans (dressed up nicely,looking pretty and handsome) and how the single guys  (we are all single except for 3 people…another guy and i were the only ones who never had a girlfriend before) could actually get potential girlfriends.ahahaha.in my opinion,we bought the ticketrs just to support a friend of mine,choonhou because he was one of two people who were given the responsibility to sell the tickets (i’m unsure about the other guy’s sales…i guess its poor).

i didn’t censor his face because i hate him or have something against him.i did it because his eyes were closed.

see,i was not lying.ehehehehehe

anyway,its a well known fact that i’m vertically challenged.in fact,i’m the second most shortest guy in my class.yup,the guys in my class are tall.however,if our build is converted into height,then i would be the third or fourth tallest.that’s because there are only 2 or 3 guys who are bigger than me (in terms of build).anyway,there are only two girls in my class who are taller than me (jueanne and guangshi) by a few cm.the rest are either as tall,or shorter than me.but glamorous functions are where guys like me are at a disadvantage.the footwear of choice for girls are high heels,wedges or shoes which elevate them a few cm taller.dahla i was botak,i cannot style my hair (if it can be styled…lots and lots of hairspray is needed) to make myself look taller.sigh.what are we,hobbits (short guys) going to do with public enemy no 1 a.k.a formal functions.fortunately,the genius (me!!!!) has found a way to look taller in photographs without wearing elevated shoes (they are expensive and endorsed by tom cruise).YOU CAN………

stand up whereas the taller girls sit down

sitting from left: husband no 1,wife/mom,husband no 3.

standing from left:adopted son from siam,daughter of wife and husband no 1

ahahahaha.see.now there’s no tall girl to compare me with.smart eh!!!

sit down while the girls stand

clockwise from top left:guangshi,maygin,samantha,tania,me and charissa

the taller girls,guangshi (natural+heels) and samantha (heels) are standing whereas i’m sitting.although it’s kinda rude,the photograph in no way shows that i’m shorter than the above mentioned girls.

take a step forward before the photographer takes the picture

from left:leemei,syecheen,jueanne,me,yeemun and yiwen

by taking a step forward,you’ll look tall in the photograph.in my case,it’s proven as i appear taller than jueanne (natural+heels).

take a shot with a girl who automatically bends her knees and tilts her head slightly  in every one-on-one photo

haha.no explanation here.

stand close to the camera so that the photograph shows you from the knees up,then extend yourself by tiptoe-ing (is there such a word???!!!)

i tiptoe-d because guangshi is taller than me despite her tilting her head slightly (why must girls wear heels???).note,apply this technique if  and only if the girl will look much taller than you in the photigraph.try to do it without her noticing (i almost succeeded if it wasn’t for someone to point out my ‘elevation’…babi that fella…ahahaha).luckily she laughed when she found out.if i didn’t use this technique then she’ll look like snow white while i’ll look like her chindian dwarf!!!

take a photo with a girl who is shorter than you

don’t worry my fellow hobbits,there will be shorter girls than you (turns out i’m not that short…ahahaha)

ceh.what is so funny?short people can be prom king ok!!!in fact,short people can do many things.in Lord of the Rings,it was Frodo and Sam,both of them hobbits,both of them SHORT,were the ones chosen to destroy the ring (well,it was Frodo only,Sam follow him just to kepoh...ahahaha…nola…without sam it is certain that frodo will fall to the ring);not aragorn,not gandalf,not legolas,not the taller people!!!!see!!!short people rule!!!!

anyway,i was not prom king,he is

yong choon hou.ahahaha.with him is paulynn.he was indeed the better looking and most charismatic of the four nominees but i suspect he won due to some “inside job” by a certain chemistry lecturer.bwahahahahaha.despite not being porn,woops,prom king,i did got a title by my classmates:bouncer!!!they say i look like club punya jaga because i look buff in my tight shirt.it’s not tight,it’s well fitting.oh ya,some girls say i have the nicest biggest butt.and again,it’s due to my well-fitting slacks.

ahahahhaahaha.rest assured they were not discussing about my butt at this time.

so,to all my fellow short brothers/hobbits (especially ian and kalai…ehehehehe),i’ve shown you the way to be taller (at least in photographs).use them wisely you must.

ahahaha.i am a genius.again to my fellow hobbits/brothers: MAY THE HEIGHT,*woops,i mean,FORCE BE WITH YOU!!!!!

the boy who is so hot that he could be a contributing factor to global warming December 13, 2008

that was his reaction when he saw a figure walking in the hall……..

the people who witnessed it couldn’t believe their eyes.was it an optical illusion??

he thought that he has identified the being but he was so wrong when he classified the being.he should have added “hot” in front of “botakhead”.

hehe.i shaved my head.

i clearly remembered last year when yuanwen or jiayi claimed that we(botak crew) were stupid  because we went for a mass shave.“we are not stupid ok!!!we are the trendsetters!!!” replied chiaching. he was right.the BotakCrew inspired not one,but two groups of 8(one in the morning session and another in the afternoon session in my secondary school)  to shave their heads (copycats!!!).not only that,we also set young girls’ hearts on fire!!!bwahahahahaha.

i don’t know why but i feel very very manly/macho when i shave my head.its true.i feel like james bond (daniel craig version) everytime i stroke my well-trimmed hairdo.

hehehehe.

i remembered the time when i entered the chemistry lab.my classmates went “wow”/”oh my god”/speechless.“wah sachin!i cannot recognise you!” said samantha. “nice hair” charissa beckoned. haha.charissa’s comment made my day.my not-so-new female classmates took it quite well.however,they were a bit curious on why i shaved my hair.

tania: why you cut your hair like that?

sachin: erm..for fun…why?is it really that bad?

tania: nola…it’s nice…i like it!!

HAH!see,she likes it.it means that there are other girls who like it too.ahahahaha.it’s funny how i can shave my head for fun but others around the world are quickly losing it and need hair badly.hahaha.these naturally-bald men would do anything for hair.hahahaha.a few notable examples of these ppor fellows: rafa benitez (liverpool manager),datuk seri najib razak (our deputy prime minister),arjen robben and wesley sneijder (real madrid players),wayne rooney (manchester united…we know why he is losing his hair…that boy must go for anger management classes) and a certain good friend of a certain school teacher with the surname Phang (no prizes for guessing).anyway,not everyone agrees with tania’s opininion.

“sachin,you’re so brave!!whenever i have a bad haircut,i would stay indoors,” .what the hell is that supposed to mean,meiyun?ahahaha.yeemun and guangshi asked me whether i was dumped or devastated to the point where i lost my conscience.for the record,i never had a girlfriend and i shaved my head not because i was devastated,but for fun.well,not really.it all started when daryl egged the rest of the BC (Botak Crew) to go bald.fine,ian and i agreed.but when i shaved my head thinking that ian would follow suit,he bailed on me.hahaha.babi fella!!!never mind,what is done is done.my hair grows at a reasonably fast rate so i’m not too bothered.hey,i save shampoo,conditioner,hair gel and sometimes electricity (i blowdry my hair sometimes when its really long and thick).

haha.anyway,my lecturers reacted postively.mr chan (former chemistry lecturer) said i look smart (in appearance and intelect…no kidding) whereas my maths lecturer offered me a free haircut.it seems that she bought a shaver at home and shaves the heads of the males in her life (her husband and two kids).she claimed that the money which could be spent on their haircut (an average RM7 for a haircut) is saved and spent on her hairdo instead.wow,i would never marry a maths teacher.miss annie said i looked neat and gave me her signature thumbs up!!!

haha.everytime i see her showing her signature thumbs up,i wonder whether she was supposed to teach me chemistry or appear in housewife-friendly advertisements (promoting domestic goods such as cleaning agents etc)

haha.you know,my classmate thinks she could even be the Yakult girl (replacing melissa campbell if i’m not mistaken).let’s just hope that she concentrates on shoving chemical equations and calculations into my head.

comparisons

haha.people compare me to a lot of people when i’m bald.jueanne said i looked like owen yap (who’s that?) while others beg to differ.here are some of the notable comparisons that have been made.

tweener (Prison Break character)

man,since when do i look like tweener.i didn’t shave my head to look like the character best rememberes as the one who gets sodomised,ok!it’s more like i shaved my head to look like wentworth miler

hahaha.he and i have a lot in common.he has very thin eyebrows while i have…….oh,never mind.oh oh oh,he is gay while i’m……..sigh.guess the only thing we have in common is our hairstyles,huh?

Barack Obama (President Elect of USA)

aoife,you are so funny.how on earth do we appear alike?hehe.he’s a tall,lanky guy who’s going to lead a country while i’m just a short guy who,well,is short.to be honest,i thought hilary clinton would win.i don’t know why but it doesn’t really matter who’s the president of USA.they say that Obama’s win signifies that the world is changing and people are accepting the minority as the leaders of a nation.

i’m not interested in politics.to me,his win serves up as an excuse for our politicians to make ludicrous comments like a non-bumi can be our next PM and so and so. although we all want that to happen,it’s not really going to materialise soon,isn’t it?as long as there are idiots in the country who in turn elect idiots to the Parliament (think sexist and rude MPs…those “b***** b******”…ahahahah),our country would never have a non-bumi PM.come on,they berated an MP of their own just because he gave his insight on what his race has become.what about the existence of a certain opposition party that wants to ban all international female acts and give us a bald,singing monkey?!!they should concentrate more on eradicating mat rempit-s or educating those who are jahiliah. seriously la,they should present a proposal calling for fatwa on mat rempit-s.they are the real menace to society,not yoga or pengkid-s (girls who dress up like guys).

woah,sidetrack to the wrong place.hehehe

The Rock (former WWE superstar turned actor)

hahaha.people compare me to him the most.they say i really look like the People’s Champ.

hmmm.i don’t think i look like The Rock at all.hahaha.anyway,if what people have said is true,then it would be interesting if we were to switch places.i’m the wrestling megastar while he’s just a regular teenager.

if you can smelllll…..what The Botak is cooking!!!!hahaha.yeah.omg.the picture looks terrible.it’s like i went for a spray tan and got it wrong.ahahaha.if i’m a wrestling star in the WWE i would…..

date KellyKelly,my favourite WWE diva.she’s smoking hot!!!!hahahaha.i wonder how The Rock would do being a normal teenager…….

ahahahaha.my photo editting software sucks.its time i upgrade to photoshop or something.

by the way,The World’s Most ‘Wu-liao’ Mum™ has found out about my blog

haha.she got the adress from ang.sorry ang for calling you a traitor.i guess there’s nothing much you can do but to give the URL of my blog to her.ahaha.she told me to stay away from politics and stop writing bad stuff about the stupid,big,fat b**** melissa.see,i censored it out for the first time.

i don’t know why she has to call her son and pretend to be a girl wanting to be friends as soon as she got a new number.it’s like some kind of test old mums carry out on their sons to find out whether their sons would simply invite girls home or not.however,her voice is so distinct that i could tell that she was my mum.if that’s not wu-liao enough,she called me during class and get me out of college just to participate in a game with the mix fm roadrunners.

i was not kidding

it has been a long time since i’ve blogged.i think i’m a bit rusty.but you guys are glad i’m back,aren’t you??hehehe.

*to the tune of PCD’s song “Don’t Cha”    

DON”T CHA WISH YOUR BOTAK WAS HOT LIKE ME? (ohhhh)

DON’T CHA WISH YOUR BOTAK WAS A FREAK LIKE ME (pssssttt!!! ahhh!!!)

DON”T CHA (aaaaahhaaaahaaa)

DON”T CHA

hello world,i’m back!!!!

the boy who wants to take a break September 27, 2008

i’m broken.

physically.

mentally.

brain.

fused.

i.

wanna.

take.

a.

sabbatical.

concentrate.

on.

things.

i.

should.

have.

instead.

of.

things.

that.

could.

not.

have.

possibly.

happen.

cookie.

jar.

is.

broken.

oreos.

are.

not.

tainted.

by.

melamine.

period.

yoda.

is.

lying.

i’d.

wish.

i.

could.

say.

the.

same.

joining.

the.

dark.

side.

i.

have.

waiting.

for.

it.

to.

end.

i.

shall.

fighting.

i.

am.

but.

am.

waiting.

for.

my.

battle.

to.

end.

entered.

vortex.

getting.

closer.

to.

the.

black.

hole.

it’s.

happening.

again.

only.

that.

it.

leaves.

a.

much.

greater.

damage.

look ma!i’m on TV!!!again! September 13, 2008

haha.i just found out about something.

aaron ezekiel edwards was one of 12 people shortlisted in his college for nivea’s ultimate prom nite king!he’s the one that i told you about,jueanne.the indian guy in penang.there’s a slight resemblance to christiano ronaldo here.hmmmm

guess who??ahahaha.she’s a former student of ACS sitiawan as well.she told me to keep you guys guessing.

aiyo.how come they never came to my college.at least i could try to audition or something.haha.but then the producers will go, “sorry kid.the girls are going to wear heels.it means that they will look taller.we don’t want any tom cruise-katie holmes poses.”.and again i’ll be rejected because i’m short.

ahahaha.who needs to audition for the real thing when you have a blog?!!ahahaha.let me introduce to you the candidates for Mr Sitiawan!!!woot

 

jacob chew

haha.the youngest candidate in our list aged 17 and a few days.during his form 5 days,he was the object of desire of most upper 6 girls.he’s the school’s volleyball captain and a decent basketball player.                                                                                                             

girls should go for him because: he can keep an account for all your spendings and show you how much you splurge on shoes,make-up,handbags and your expenses since he’s studying accounts.

codename:McBoyish

 

ang chun keat

don’t be fooled by this girlish post,he is actually the manliest candidate in our list.with his big build and often angry facial expression,you might think he’s someone not to mess with.however,underneath the exterior lies a kind young man who deserves to be nominated

girls should choose him because: he won’t laugh at you if you’re scared of cats.that is because he is afraid of them too.ahahaha.girls can optimise his strength to carry their shopping bags.and yes,he makes a good domestic helper (he does the housework way better than most girls)

codename: McTakutkucing

 

thilagaraaj arronan a/l mundraje

the second youngest candidate is aiming to be a chemical engineer.so far,he has some ‘chemistry’ with most girls that he interacts with.a gentle guy who packs a big punch (literally).although he’s has a few ’spare tayar’-s,play a few rounds of badminton with him and you’ll see he has better court coverage than you.

girls should choose him because: he’s hairy.and all that hair is used to trap air for heat insulation.means you’ll feel warm when you cuddle up with him.haha.and he has a very good sense of humour.

codename: McFurry

 

ian goh hong siang

the most vertically challenged candidate in our list.i’m serious.haha.blessed in academics,this young man has lots of gadgets that he often gloats about.haha.he’s the school tennis captain and has the longest sideburns for a chinese friend of mine.

girls should choose him because: he’ll solve any problems with your computer or digital players.plus,he’ll help you with any problems if you ask him nicely.

codename: McTechnicalsupport

 

lee yi han

some girls totally dig guys in uniform.i just don’t know why. ‘captain pork’ is a nice guy.he is very disciplined and is a family man.he puts his family before anything else

girls should choose him because: although your cooking sucks, he’ll sapu all the dishes clean.yeah.you can feed him anything without any complaint.he also makes a good domestic helper.he’s also serving the country!!!!how macho is that???

codename: McPorkie

 

loh chia ching

he’s not a malay or an indian but he’s darker than me.hmmm.haha.he’s born a day before me and our name rhymes.a very fun guy to be with

girls should go for him because: he’s a ball of fun.you’ll definitely have a great time with him.if you can’t finish your food when you guys go out,he’ll finish it for you.he eats a lot despite his thin frame.

codename: McBlackie

 

daryl yeak dieu jim

he’s currently in australia now.haha.he’s a guy with a big frame.i feel like frodo when i’m with him.ish.haha.he likes photography and has a camera to express himself.check out the photos he took.they’re real good

girls should go for him because: if you like to camwhore,he’s the best guy to take your pictures.haha.a very nice bloke as well.he’s also the most mature candidate in the list

codename: McDarlie

 

gong wei jian

the most metrosexual guy in our list.haha.he has received many references to korean actors.he may not look like it in this pic because it was taken a few months back.a friend of mine said he has the best hairstyle among us.cheh,that’s because he has a mum as a hairstylist!

girls should go for him because: he’s the only candidate who has a six-pack.the rest of us think its a great achievement to have a flat tummy,having great abs is just godsend.oh ya.he has a cool car,cool clothes and a cool hairstyle.

codename: McKorean

 

justin peter joseph

he’s a mixed guy like me (chindian) and often mistaken as a malay.he was brought to the police station twice but was released.it all happened during the fasting month.the biggest and strongest of us all!!!

girls should go for him because: he cooks great food albeit having too much ginger.i quote from ang “its as if there’s a pregnant lady in the house”.he sucks at cleaning but he makes it up by serenading you with his great voice.yes,he can sing.a gentleman to say the least and he’s able to stay alive and scratch-free everytime he drives his toyota corolla with bald front tires.

codename: McLembu

 

sachin i-have-a-very-long-name-to-spell-out

haha.yeah.me myself.i didn’t want to write out my name because certain quarters will purposedly misspell my name.haha.a hyperactive guy with an infinite charm (fuyoh!!!!),he dazzles the ladies with his impeccable manners and groove (wtf?!!).the most gentleman candidate!too gentleman until he got harassed by a homosexual guy.

girls should go for ME because: i won’t laugh at your bad driving skills because i (twice) broke my mum’s side mirror (yep,the same one…TWICE!!!).you don’t have to cook for me or worry about me getting proper nutrition as i can survive on oreos and yogurt.i compensate my lack of height with confidence.i have the smoothest pair of hands among the candidates so you’ll feel good touching them.i do housework.i’m not a great cook but i can whip out some stuff (like durian+yogurt+oreo combo…tasty,NOT!!!).i’m the most polite one.i’m the most gentleman one.i’m the most charming one.and last but not least i’m the most perasan one.

codename: McShorty

so.how do we determine who’s mr sitiawan?well,you can just tell us who’s your pick.girls are strongly advised to tell us your pick.there won’t be any contest for the girls because there’s only one girl that could win and she’s from GREECE!!!haha