Archive for August, 2007

botak bandits

hehe.. what do you get when you combine 8 crazy people having no idea how to celebrate one of them’s birthday??hmm..simple. you go to a barber and shave your head. that’s what we did for ian’s birthday. we look damn good that even people in my class are considering to shave. we are not idiots (by shaving our hair), we are the TRENDSETTERS. for more pictures, visit ian’s, chiaching’s and daryl’s page.

here’s how i look

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ladies and gentlemen, that is yiwen by the way.hehe. do i really look like The Rock? well most people say i do. i  take it as a compliment. we look damn good that we could even appear in Prison Break. hahaha. well, that could never happen but maybe we could have a Malaysian version starring none other than…. THE BOTAK CREW!!!

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ehem. from the creators of Project Runway Malaysia (copycats of Project Runway) and Fear Factor Malaysia (we copied that too), comes a series like no other

PUDU BREAK!!!

well, here’s the script (warning!! strictly not for readers aged/think like below 16 years old)

it starts when Datuk Seri S.Irajabathi is annoited as the new Works Minister (Menteri Kerja Raya). barely three months into the job, all the ‘bumbung bocor’ cases are solved, roads are built properly, the right people are getting the right tenders. it seems that he was the perfect man for the job until….

he was found dead at his living room in his home with a gunshot wound on his head

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yup, it was on ntv7’s news. well, the killer was actually a Filipino contract worker.

unfortunately, the contract killer looks like me.

the_rock-01.jpgthe contract killer from the Philippines

hehe. i play Kelengyan Sacofield, an engineer working for Jabatan Kerja Raya. i work very closely with Datuk S. Irajabathi (deadatuk) before we had an argument. so i am the number one suspect in this case.

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my character is of same importance as Michael Scofield as we are the smart ones. the only difference is i’m the one caught.

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hehe. Ling Yiwen plays the heroine here,Yira Wencradi  (girl wish-20 was my first choice but everyone will know her identity if i post her picture so yiwen will do). she plays as deadatuk’s adopted daughter and she keeps a thumbdrive which contains videos of the bad guys’ evil deeds (but she doesn’t realise it).

my architect brother, Lohken Luhhows, is played by Lohchiaching. we don’t have the same surname as our mothers are different but our Y-chromosome came from the same semineferous tubule of one of our dad’s testicles (in the series). he wanted to be like Scofield: tattoo the blueprints of the prison on his body. sadly, instead of tattooing the blueprints of Pudu Jail, he tattooed the blueprints of Taiping Jail. now you know why i’m the smart one in the family.

we ended up in the same prison. i shared my cell with Ferianando Gohcre (ian goh), a guy who sells illegal N95’s to people. he was detained because he robbed a convenience store to buy an original version of N95 (issued by Zitron ok) for his fiancee. mana tau kena tangkap (kena report by his “cousin” Ah Gong).

i soon plan my escape route. the details are not given because it’s very complicated (i lazy to write everything…my show is not going to be produced also). after planning, i hooked up with 6 other inmates to escape: Haywire Yeak, a mentally ill inmate who memorises my plan to escape (no need to draw my plan…he can remember everything); Hoerace “Tweener” Chiong, the main guy of my plan (without his asshole, my plan will fail); Cheeodore “C-Bag” Bangzhing, a guy who kills with skills (but i’m scared he will sodomise me…detained for sexual assaults which lead to murder); John Chiahruzzi, a former mob boss whose partner, Andrew will drive our escape vehicle (a silver Toyota Estima); Benjakeat “Ang-gur” Anglin, a fanatic HBN-killer whose homemade bombs from tau-sa-piah and Carlsberg beer will destroy the gates (how he made the bombs is unexplainable..it’s fiction).

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my plan started when the gay prison guard was seduced by Tweener (he was forced). while humping Tweener away, his cell-mate Chiahruzzi took the keys and beat him senseless. Tweener was crying but he knew his @$$hole made the difference. without it, we won’t get the keys. after freeing the 8 of us, we followed my plan. we made our way in the prison without trouble as the guards were watching porn DVDs in the theatre room and busy “cleaning their pipes”. then Ang-gur blasted our way to freedom. luckily the theatre room is sound-proof and they could not listen to the explosion. they trusted Gayoslut Bellick,the gay guard to take care of the situation. Andrew fetched us to the secret hideout of the “Big Head Clan”, the mafia group run by Chiahruzzi.

when we reached there, we turned on the television.

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damn it! we were the top news on ntv7’s news show.

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the funny thing was the newscaster said,” these criminals are psychopaths because most of them were smiling when they took these photographs. that’s not normal. who smiles when they are going to jail?”

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woops, my name in this series is Kelengyan Sacofield. i miscued. back to the story. we were damn scared as the top Unit Tindakan Khas officer, Tubak Maihoyeepork and Gayoslut Bellick joined forces and want our heads!!

suddenly, Haywire sensed the presence of someone at the door. could it be them??

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turns out Chiahruzzi had a wig on to disguise himself. now we are ready to meet Yira Wencredi (except Tweener..he was just sodomised remember..he was depressed)

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we somehow convinced him to follow us.

then we met Yira Wencradi. she brought the thumbdrive as well as 2 idiots (she did not realise that either). cut the long story short, we were captured and put back in jail.

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now how?? we are caught again and Yira’s life is in danger. how to clear my name and get the bad guy? i really don’t know because it’s supposed to be the climax of the first season.hehe

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in the second season, we will escape and we will get the bad guy. maybe we will also see Yira in a stunning black dress (if she’s alive in the second season). this is freaking lame.

*to ntv7: jangan sue saya, saya tak ada duit*

hehe. seriously.

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my 17th birthday wishes!!!!

although it’s one day before my actual birthday, my family and i celebrated it. after 2 years of not celebrating, my dad got me a huge cheesecake from Secret Recipe (which is in fornt of my house…it’s so cool to live in a strategic place) and well, eat it. i got a birthday card from my relatives in Hulu Langat (my Indian side) and angpau from aunty-aunty sekalian. my dad got me SHOES!! not one,not 2 but THREE!! i didn’t ask for anything (which i normally do except for my first “magic shoes” and my watch which was stolen after 3 months….i’ll NEVER STEP IN THE LOST WORLD OF TAMBUN EVER AGAIN!!!!). my dad got me black leather shoes (which i wear to school every day…i think this pair will last  for at least a year because i won’t be wearing them very often….my other prefect shoes last me 6 months each!!!), golf shoes (he outgrew them so it’s mine…my mum got it for him at the end of 2005 and he only wore them 6 times!! lucky me) and the lastest addition to my  “magic shoes” collection (it will take some time to transfer the magic from my previous shoes but i swear they will hit the courts right after SPM Trials). before i cut my birthday cake, i made a few wishes. the wishes are as follows:

  1.  i wish that the Kadet Polis who went camping got lost in the jungles so that Ling Gear Long will stay longer and postpone/cancel sejarah test (the latter is preferred)
  2. i wish that Ling Ing Chong is a very good friend of Ling Gear Long and went there to comfort him and postpone/cancel add maths test (again, the latter is preferres)
  3. i wish that the abducted Koreans are released safely by the Talibans
  4. i wish that Osama bin Laden is dead
  5. i REALLY wish that Yiwen will wear her black dress again for me
  6. i wish that anyone from Amber Chia/Stephanie Chai/Marion Caunter will call me to wish me happy birthday!!sexy-amber-chia1.jpgamber chiastephanie01.jpgstephanie chai
  7. i wish all three ladies mentioned above called me to wish me
  8. i wish that Scarlett Johansson will send me her “naughty” pictures (if i’m in a good mood, i’ll share it with you Ian,Weijian, Daryl, Chiaching and others)
  9. i wish the lady mentioned above sends me a happy birthday “video” (my “member” and i will be VERY HAPPY)scarlett_johansson_bikini_011.jpgscarlett johansson
  10. i wish USA ,UK and others will pull their troops from Iraq
  11. i wish Arsenal will win every silverware contested this season and every other season to come (let’s show them we don’t need Henry!!)
  12. i wish that the Malay Student Council would not attempt to cancel any other concerts featuring the main players of the industry like they did with Gwen Stefani (kudos to the organisers for ignoring them…don’t kacau us…go watch your stupid Mawi a.k.a bald monkey)
  13. I WISH I WILL  GROW TALLER!!!
  14. i wish AT LEAST 90% of my wishes came true
  15. i wish MMT is dead
  16. i wish people in Africa will not starve (one way is to rid MMT…she’s consuming food that will feed a village in Africa for THREE DAYS..and her fats could be used for making candles..an estimated 1 billion standard candles could be produced from her 4 layers of phospolipids)
  17. i wish for my family and i to lead a disease-free life (diabetic genes are in me)
  18. i wish i had at least a 6-pack (abdomen)
  19. i wish they find a cure for AIDS
  20. i REALLY,REALLY wish she CALLED and WISHED me and tell me we could be together

that’s all. maybe my blog will be temporarily shut down due to Trials but i’m sure that i’ll continue blogging staright after that