after 32 years and on his 71st birthday, samyvellu is no longer minister. ahahaha. another donkey that lost is kayveas. joy to indians. it’s finally time. arronan, go and fulfill your dreams of successing samy vellu. the door is open. hehe.
I KNOW HOW TO PUT ON A CONDOM!! before the guys go “who’s the girl??” and the girls start screaming “why sachin, why?”, let me stress that I’M STILL A VIRGIN. so girls out there, take a huge sigh of relief as you still have a chance to deflower me. wait. if i’m still a virgin, how do i know how to put on a condom? it’s very simple actually. i put it on another penis. that does not sound right. i let the pictures do the talking.
well, this is the result of the second attempt. now i know why you’re allowed to use a condom once. the real result is supposed to be tight with no wrinkles on the rubber as well as some space left at the end. i got the no wrinkles and tight part but not the space part. the nurse told me that my first attempt will burst the condom and let my tadpoles to swim towards the goal. woah! i’m so lucky i learned to do it here instead of my first night. so girls, thank the nurse! well, actually, you’ve got to thank a girl. when i was having complications, she came and showed me how. she was not on the demonstartion team, just a random girl who appeared out of nowhere. she showed me how to put it on like a pro. wow, she even explained in to me how it is supposed to be and stuff. guess what, she’s just 2 or 3 years older.hmmm.
for paticipating (and getting laughed at by other guys…hey, at least i HAD GUTS), i got myself……
wait, how come there is a demonstration?? well, the School of Social Science and Liberty Arts of UCSI organised the International Women’s Week 2008 last week. i’m their unofficial blogger.haha. it was a week where women were celebrated all over the world. there are lots of events
these posters were placed on every entrance on the floor. it means we’re not supposed to step on women. but somehow some college students here are very dumb as they cannot see the symbolic meaning. hence there were footprints on the posters.
yup, i received a goodie bag when i entered the multi-purpose hall. everyone did. in the goodie bag there were a program booklet, Scholl vouchers, Serene Aesthetics voucher, food vouchers and a small tube of Garnier Anti Imperfection Type A or something like that. it’s kinda cool. guess who were giving a speech when jueanne and i arrived at the hall. the amazing race asia contestants. of course they are women. zabrina (winner of season 1), pamella (runner-up season 2) and diane (one half of the mothers team) made special apperances. arronan, you posted in your blog that i would feel jealous if you took the Sabahan girl’s picture. i have something better.
local celebrity meets tv celebrities. notice how they got closer to me to get a photograph taken. compare my photo and jueanne’s; there are no gaps in between me and the amazing women. ahahaha. anyway, i met the most confident woman in my life that day, zabrina. the first girl to ever give me a firm handshake. even winnie does not do that. anyway, it seems like malaysian women are dominating the show. that is until my participation in the race.YEAH!!
anyway, no photos of felicia or mei yun with them. in fact, they left early because they couldn’t stand a boring talk. wow, pang yat huah’s lessons did train me to withstand boring talks. however, the talk was not boring, it was informative. it was given by a successful woman who has qualifications some men can dream. she achieved so much that i forgot everything and couldn’t put it in my blog. in her speech she sang praises of successful women such as datuk seri shahrizat (former women and familly minister…sadly she lost to anwar’s daughter after all that she has done for women in malaysia), oprah (thanks to her, i know what a clitorectomy is) and others.
seriously the whole row was reserved for me. in fact, only jueanne and i were sitting there. ahahaha. jueanne was lucky to be my secretary. see, she get to sit at places others don’t dare to sit. there was a musical performance after the talk by the UCSI music students. they belted out songs from the 80’s. it’s funny how ivy wanted to study here and didn’t actually end up here. huhu. then there was a fashion show by the fashion students.
this guy is really hamsap. everytime a model struts her stuff, he will aim from the butt up. means he’ll focus on the butt and slowly move up. it happens for every single female model. seriously. then there was a waldrobe malfunction. all the guys went nuts and cheered very loudly. ahaha. i was laughing when i witnessed the waldrobe malfunction and i told jueanne.she didn’t believe me and told me it was part of the outfit. then after the she left the runway, the hamsap cameraman was smiling like a pervert and told jue anne, “dah nampak“. dude, sudah nampak then keep it to yourself. don’t go and tell the nearest girl you see. you don’t even know her!! guess he’ll rewind the tape over and over and over again.
there was a special apperance by malaysian autor, Lydia Teh. frequent readers of The Star’s Mind Our English column will notice that her book “Honk! if you are a Malaysian” was featured some time last year. in fact, she is one of the contributors of the ‘Eh Poh Nim’ series. couldn’t get her autograph as i was stuck in chemistry class. then, there was a special performance by Andrew Tan, winner of Astro Talent Quest 2000-something. he just belted A song and left. what a performer.
this, winnie, is your reproductive system if you have cervical cancer. wait, where’s the cancer? the cancer is inside. our teachers taught us that the cervix is just an opening (a hole) to the uterus but the cervix is actually the inner muscles. as you can see, the narrow pathway leading downwards from the uterus to the vagina is no longer narrow. i didn’t get to see the cancer cells as i’m not allowed to touch the display.
there are lots of games organised. i was the fastest guy ever to get the answer right in an IQ test. ahaha. i didn’t know i could do that. i collected some 90 points on my coupon before the coupon ended up in my washing machine. my chance of winning a tv goes down the drain. however, there was a contest which its main prize attracted me.
a pair of black lingerie. girls, nothing turns a guy on like black lingerie (any comments on Melissa the big fat b*tch in this will be swiftly deleted…it’s horrible to imagine). all you have to do is get the most correct answers in a quiz. luckily i was late for the quiz (i think only 6 or 7 people took the quiz…means the probability of me winning is 1/6 or 1/7) so i didn’t get a chance to participate. but if i do win, what am i going to do with it? i don’t wear lingerie (i’m not that sick) so my only option is to give it away. but giving away lingerie is not as easy as giving chocolates or sweets to girls.
since it was International Women’s Week, the sponsors of the event came and promote their products at discounted prices. Body Shop was introducing their new shampoo products at a discounted price. so does Serene Aesthetics. however, the only thing that i purchase was a custom made laptop skin from CW Craftworks. *DRUMROLL*
my laptop finally reflects me in a way. nothing is way cooler than this skin except better looking batman skins. ahaha. this was the best skin i can get which is timeless yet edgy.
this is what winnie might look like in another 50 to 60 years time. but i think at that time, she would be very proud of it.
guys out there, respect women and someday we’ll have international men’s week. ehehe