Archive for September, 2008

the boy who wants to take a break

i’m broken.

physically.

mentally.

brain.

fused.

i.

wanna.

take.

a.

sabbatical.

concentrate.

on.

things.

i.

should.

have.

instead.

of.

things.

that.

could.

not.

have.

possibly.

happen.

cookie.

jar.

is.

broken.

oreos.

are.

not.

tainted.

by.

melamine.

period.

yoda.

is.

lying.

i’d.

wish.

i.

could.

say.

the.

same.

joining.

the.

dark.

side.

i.

have.

waiting.

for.

it.

to.

end.

i.

shall.

fighting.

i.

am.

but.

am.

waiting.

for.

my.

battle.

to.

end.

entered.

vortex.

getting.

closer.

to.

the.

black.

hole.

it’s.

happening.

again.

only.

that.

it.

leaves.

a.

much.

greater.

damage.

look ma!i’m on TV!!!again!

haha.i just found out about something.

aaron ezekiel edwards was one of 12 people shortlisted in his college for nivea’s ultimate prom nite king!he’s the one that i told you about,jueanne.the indian guy in penang.there’s a slight resemblance to christiano ronaldo here.hmmmm

guess who??ahahaha.she’s a former student of ACS sitiawan as well.she told me to keep you guys guessing.

aiyo.how come they never came to my college.at least i could try to audition or something.haha.but then the producers will go, “sorry kid.the girls are going to wear heels.it means that they will look taller.we don’t want any tom cruise-katie holmes poses.”.and again i’ll be rejected because i’m short.

ahahaha.who needs to audition for the real thing when you have a blog?!!ahahaha.let me introduce to you the candidates for Mr Sitiawan!!!woot

 

jacob chew

haha.the youngest candidate in our list aged 17 and a few days.during his form 5 days,he was the object of desire of most upper 6 girls.he’s the school’s volleyball captain and a decent basketball player.                                                                                                             

girls should go for him because: he can keep an account for all your spendings and show you how much you splurge on shoes,make-up,handbags and your expenses since he’s studying accounts.

codename:McBoyish

 

ang chun keat

don’t be fooled by this girlish post,he is actually the manliest candidate in our list.with his big build and often angry facial expression,you might think he’s someone not to mess with.however,underneath the exterior lies a kind young man who deserves to be nominated

girls should choose him because: he won’t laugh at you if you’re scared of cats.that is because he is afraid of them too.ahahaha.girls can optimise his strength to carry their shopping bags.and yes,he makes a good domestic helper (he does the housework way better than most girls)

codename: McTakutkucing

 

thilagaraaj arronan a/l mundraje

the second youngest candidate is aiming to be a chemical engineer.so far,he has some ‘chemistry’ with most girls that he interacts with.a gentle guy who packs a big punch (literally).although he’s has a few ‘spare tayar’-s,play a few rounds of badminton with him and you’ll see he has better court coverage than you.

girls should choose him because: he’s hairy.and all that hair is used to trap air for heat insulation.means you’ll feel warm when you cuddle up with him.haha.and he has a very good sense of humour.

codename: McFurry

 

ian goh hong siang

the most vertically challenged candidate in our list.i’m serious.haha.blessed in academics,this young man has lots of gadgets that he often gloats about.haha.he’s the school tennis captain and has the longest sideburns for a chinese friend of mine.

girls should choose him because: he’ll solve any problems with your computer or digital players.plus,he’ll help you with any problems if you ask him nicely.

codename: McTechnicalsupport

 

lee yi han

some girls totally dig guys in uniform.i just don’t know why. ‘captain pork’ is a nice guy.he is very disciplined and is a family man.he puts his family before anything else

girls should choose him because: although your cooking sucks, he’ll sapu all the dishes clean.yeah.you can feed him anything without any complaint.he also makes a good domestic helper.he’s also serving the country!!!!how macho is that???

codename: McPorkie

 

loh chia ching

he’s not a malay or an indian but he’s darker than me.hmmm.haha.he’s born a day before me and our name rhymes.a very fun guy to be with

girls should go for him because: he’s a ball of fun.you’ll definitely have a great time with him.if you can’t finish your food when you guys go out,he’ll finish it for you.he eats a lot despite his thin frame.

codename: McBlackie

 

daryl yeak dieu jim

he’s currently in australia now.haha.he’s a guy with a big frame.i feel like frodo when i’m with him.ish.haha.he likes photography and has a camera to express himself.check out the photos he took.they’re real good

girls should go for him because: if you like to camwhore,he’s the best guy to take your pictures.haha.a very nice bloke as well.he’s also the most mature candidate in the list

codename: McDarlie

 

gong wei jian

the most metrosexual guy in our list.haha.he has received many references to korean actors.he may not look like it in this pic because it was taken a few months back.a friend of mine said he has the best hairstyle among us.cheh,that’s because he has a mum as a hairstylist!

girls should go for him because: he’s the only candidate who has a six-pack.the rest of us think its a great achievement to have a flat tummy,having great abs is just godsend.oh ya.he has a cool car,cool clothes and a cool hairstyle.

codename: McKorean

 

justin peter joseph

he’s a mixed guy like me (chindian) and often mistaken as a malay.he was brought to the police station twice but was released.it all happened during the fasting month.the biggest and strongest of us all!!!

girls should go for him because: he cooks great food albeit having too much ginger.i quote from ang “its as if there’s a pregnant lady in the house”.he sucks at cleaning but he makes it up by serenading you with his great voice.yes,he can sing.a gentleman to say the least and he’s able to stay alive and scratch-free everytime he drives his toyota corolla with bald front tires.

codename: McLembu

 

sachin i-have-a-very-long-name-to-spell-out

haha.yeah.me myself.i didn’t want to write out my name because certain quarters will purposedly misspell my name.haha.a hyperactive guy with an infinite charm (fuyoh!!!!),he dazzles the ladies with his impeccable manners and groove (wtf?!!).the most gentleman candidate!too gentleman until he got harassed by a homosexual guy.

girls should go for ME because: i won’t laugh at your bad driving skills because i (twice) broke my mum’s side mirror (yep,the same one…TWICE!!!).you don’t have to cook for me or worry about me getting proper nutrition as i can survive on oreos and yogurt.i compensate my lack of height with confidence.i have the smoothest pair of hands among the candidates so you’ll feel good touching them.i do housework.i’m not a great cook but i can whip out some stuff (like durian+yogurt+oreo combo…tasty,NOT!!!).i’m the most polite one.i’m the most gentleman one.i’m the most charming one.and last but not least i’m the most perasan one.

codename: McShorty

so.how do we determine who’s mr sitiawan?well,you can just tell us who’s your pick.girls are strongly advised to tell us your pick.there won’t be any contest for the girls because there’s only one girl that could win and she’s from GREECE!!!haha

the boy who returned to college and realised that women should be called the ‘fairer sex’ instead of the ‘weaker sex’ all thanks to a random conversation he had with his college mates

after a week back in sitiawan,the fact about returning to college does not appeal to me.

haha.she’s right.college is better than matriculation.

i had a conversation with my friends that day.we were thinking about which of our classmates would make a good couple.“wei,i have one…curlycurly and doraemon…one garang and the other playful…good combo!!!” “yeah..i think miss elegant and treadmill man also can” “haha…the gentleman and brownie!!!hahahah…hmmm…sportysporty and chlorox boy” “cannot…tak mungkin…bu ke neng!!!” “please la…if not with him then with you is it???go on and dream about your greek goddess la”.“cheh…fine…what about me???” “you a???wait??let me think….ah…you and minnie mouse!!!!” “ahahaha…why?i mean she’s cute…but she’s too quiet for me…why did you choose her?”

later i found out that they chose her because of her size.she is quite small.wait,scratch that.they chose her because of MY SIZE!!! i’m too short. “girls want to feel safe when they’re with their partner…they must be bigger size!!!” said ju-on. am i that small??? “nola…you’re short only” claimed shehulk. but still,their claim that my girlfriend must be smaller than me to feel safe is quite disparaging.it means that i can only date girls who are smaller than yvonne so that they can feel safe.sigh.haha

however,i’m not really small.it turns out that most of the boys are just tall.if all of us are of the same height,there are only 4 people bigger than me.but i have do the biggest (and smoothest)  pair of hands and feet.muahahaha.

anyway,back to my conversation  with ju-on,shehulk with others.brownie and flower girl thinks that men who do housework are good companions. ” no no no!!!cannot!!!men should not step into the kitchen!!!!they can never do the housework!!!!” lawyer shouted out.

“huh?why?my mum made me do the chores since i was young.my sis never helped out much” “yes,men should help out.you’ll make a good husband,sachin” “cannot la…guys cannot do housework when they are married” “and why is that?i think that we (guys) have to help out in our share…besides,we might be better cleaners than our partners” “woi…we are trained by our mums ok!!!you are a bad person la,lawyer!!why can’t men help out?”

“because we men work and find money for the family.we should not be bothered by housework!!!”

what if the men is unable to work and the wife is the sole breadwinner?

“hmmm…then its fine la…we men do housework and our wives go work”

what if both of you are working?

“wahlau…you stupid or what???of course la the girl must do!!!!”

ahahaha.lawyer is a chauvinist!but he did blurted out some fine comments to defend his stand on men doing chores.yes.female readers out there would be disgusted.why do we have to do everything?we cook,clean,take care of the kids and satisfy him in bed and yet all he does is sit in front of the tv!relax,not all men are like that.some men do help out in the house.they just need a little,erm,persuasion.if you want me to do chores,it’s very easy.a tub of yogurt,complimentary oreos and a massage (either a normal one or the one that can lead to….*ehem* bedroom circus).McFlurry oreos mudpie and strawberries are very good.try it.rm5.50 without tax!

“sachin,why are you like that???if a girl scratch your car,you wouldn’t be angry to her.if a girl wanna masuk ktm,you give way.why???” “erm,because guys should be gentlemen?” “cheh,what happened when you become gentleman?kena harassed by gay”

shit.he’s right.maybe i should sit down and let lawyer attack the girls.haha.

one thing i don’t get is why everything that goes wrong is our fault.if we’re at wrong then its ok but what if the girl’s in the wrong?its still our fault!!! how come they spend our money but we can’t touch theirs?? they strongly believe in “your money,my money;my money is MINE!!” motto.so it’s ok for them to drain our pockets but we can’t go sniffing around their purses.hmph.why do we have to make the first move padahal they are the ones giving lots and lots of signals saying that they want us?why do we have to wine and dine them when a simple dinner at home will do?why can they spend lots of money on shoes but we can’t spend ours on yogurt and oreos.why can they look at other guys and say they’re hot but we can’t even look at other girls!WHY WHY WHY???!!!!

“sebab mereka tu insan yang lemah”.ya right,mr nava.take your idealogy and……………(fill in the blank yourself).we men got to think about getting the right job to get good money to support our family.we’ve got to think about the house that our family has got to live in.we’ve got to think about protecting our families.girls just wait for the right guy and marry him.see,men are at a great disadvantage!!!

anyway,i still think women whould be empowered.no longer are they domestic maids,eye candy or sexual-fulfilment-devices.they are human beings and deserve equal treatment. God created everyone equal.although he blessed men with strength,it doesn’t mean that we should use it to push women around.”behind every successful man,is a woman”. bet you’ve never heard “behind evey successful woman is a man” right?ahahaha.

women should not be called the “weaker sex” anymore.it should be the “fairer sex”.