the SALSA of my college had organised “starry night” which is an annual dinner for students like me.for those not in the know,SALSA in this case,is not a type of latin dance,but is an abbreviation for School of A-Levels’ Students Association.really?hahaha.i have no idea on what SALSA means either although i got the first three letters of SALSA right.eheheeheh.
anyway,at first,not many were willing to go except a notable student and jueanne.hahaha.the rest did not want to go.why aren’t they interested?its once in a course (for january intake….april and june get to go twice!) affair.hahaha.for starters,it fell on a thursday night,which effectively killed any hopes for an afterparty (in my case…some actually went for an afterparty).second (again in my case),not glamorous enough.ahahaha.it is a semi-formal affair so i was not expecting the girls to dress up nicely.i was soon to be proven wrong.
how did we all go?well,it was due to the assistant head of the department,Ms Nalina.she somehow influenced us to go,with a story about us being ugly ducklings who turned into swans (dressed up nicely,looking pretty and handsome) and how the single guys (we are all single except for 3 people…another guy and i were the only ones who never had a girlfriend before) could actually get potential girlfriends.ahahaha.in my opinion,we bought the ticketrs just to support a friend of mine,choonhou because he was one of two people who were given the responsibility to sell the tickets (i’m unsure about the other guy’s sales…i guess its poor).
i didn’t censor his face because i hate him or have something against him.i did it because his eyes were closed.
see,i was not lying.ehehehehehe
anyway,its a well known fact that i’m vertically challenged.in fact,i’m the second most shortest guy in my class.yup,the guys in my class are tall.however,if our build is converted into height,then i would be the third or fourth tallest.that’s because there are only 2 or 3 guys who are bigger than me (in terms of build).anyway,there are only two girls in my class who are taller than me (jueanne and guangshi) by a few cm.the rest are either as tall,or shorter than me.but glamorous functions are where guys like me are at a disadvantage.the footwear of choice for girls are high heels,wedges or shoes which elevate them a few cm taller.dahla i was botak,i cannot style my hair (if it can be styled…lots and lots of hairspray is needed) to make myself look taller.sigh.what are we,hobbits (short guys) going to do with public enemy no 1 a.k.a formal functions.fortunately,the genius (me!!!!) has found a way to look taller in photographs without wearing elevated shoes (they are expensive and endorsed by tom cruise).YOU CAN………
stand up whereas the taller girls sit down
sitting from left: husband no 1,wife/mom,husband no 3.
standing from left:adopted son from siam,daughter of wife and husband no 1
ahahahaha.see.now there’s no tall girl to compare me with.smart eh!!!
sit down while the girls stand
clockwise from top left:guangshi,maygin,samantha,tania,me and charissa
the taller girls,guangshi (natural+heels) and samantha (heels) are standing whereas i’m sitting.although it’s kinda rude,the photograph in no way shows that i’m shorter than the above mentioned girls.
take a step forward before the photographer takes the picture
from left:leemei,syecheen,jueanne,me,yeemun and yiwen
by taking a step forward,you’ll look tall in the photograph.in my case,it’s proven as i appear taller than jueanne (natural+heels).
take a shot with a girl who automatically bends her knees and tilts her head slightly in every one-on-one photo
haha.no explanation here.
stand close to the camera so that the photograph shows you from the knees up,then extend yourself by tiptoe-ing (is there such a word???!!!)
i tiptoe-d because guangshi is taller than me despite her tilting her head slightly (why must girls wear heels???).note,apply this technique if and only if the girl will look much taller than you in the photigraph.try to do it without her noticing (i almost succeeded if it wasn’t for someone to point out my ‘elevation’…babi that fella…ahahaha).luckily she laughed when she found out.if i didn’t use this technique then she’ll look like snow white while i’ll look like her chindian dwarf!!!
take a photo with a girl who is shorter than you
don’t worry my fellow hobbits,there will be shorter girls than you (turns out i’m not that short…ahahaha)
ceh.what is so funny?short people can be prom king ok!!!in fact,short people can do many things.in Lord of the Rings,it was Frodo and Sam,both of them hobbits,both of them SHORT,were the ones chosen to destroy the ring (well,it was Frodo only,Sam follow him just to kepoh...ahahaha…nola…without sam it is certain that frodo will fall to the ring);not aragorn,not gandalf,not legolas,not the taller people!!!!see!!!short people rule!!!!
anyway,i was not prom king,he is
yong choon hou.ahahaha.with him is paulynn.he was indeed the better looking and most charismatic of the four nominees but i suspect he won due to some “inside job” by a certain chemistry lecturer.bwahahahahaha.despite not being porn,woops,prom king,i did got a title by my classmates:bouncer!!!they say i look like club punya jaga because i look buff in my tight shirt.it’s not tight,it’s well fitting.oh ya,some girls say i have the nicest biggest butt.and again,it’s due to my well-fitting slacks.
ahahahhaahaha.rest assured they were not discussing about my butt at this time.
so,to all my fellow short brothers/hobbits (especially ian and kalai…ehehehehe),i’ve shown you the way to be taller (at least in photographs).use them wisely you must.
ahahaha.i am a genius.again to my fellow hobbits/brothers: MAY THE HEIGHT,*woops,i mean,FORCE BE WITH YOU!!!!!