Archive for the ‘humour’ Category

parts made in KL,assembled in SITIAWAN

“i’m from SITIAWAN,Perak”

that’s what i answer whenever people in college ask me about where i was from.did you know i was born in KL?yeah.in fact,i only moved to sitiawan when i was roughly 3 years old.i thought that the fact that i was born in KL does not make me an original Sitiawan product,but i feel that this small,humble town made me into what i am today.

naval base

this is what got me into sitiawan in the first place:the naval base.haha.i can’t offer any pictures beyond the gate.very mafan .you need to leave your IC and particulars at the gate.then as you exit they will check what’s inside your car boot.gosh.very troublesome.anyway,my dad got transferred to the navall base in lumut.that’s why we moved and settled down in sitiawan.

house

yeah.this is my first house.i got a shock when i came to take a photograph of it.it is not like when i lived in it.there used to be a lawn,a place where i could play all day,and pots of flowers which my mum made me water every day.now,it looks like a joint for drug addicts.gosh.what was left of that beautiful  home is the white house.

house1

i can’t find any full frontal pictures of my house.hahahaha.as you can see,it was much more beautiful last time.

house2

i still can’t make the same face since this photo was taken.hahahaha.yeah.i had the furniture since then.so damn troublesome to keep.DON’T buy these types of furniture.you’ll regret it and your children will hate you for buying them!

house3

this is my first birthday party in sitiawan!hahaha.my 7th birthday.merdeka cake.wtf.hahahaha.did you know my previous birthdays were held at my grandma’s house in hulu langat,kl?!it means that whenever its time for my birthday,we had to drive all the way to KL in my ancient taufu-lou honda accord just to throw a party.hahaha.mum got fed up and organised it in sitiawan on my 7th birthday.

road

i OWNED this stretch of road!haha.i remembered riding my blue bicycle as fast as i can.hahaha.there used to be lots of trees.my first fall on my bike was under a tree  but i can’t remember where as most of the big trees were chopped off.hmmm

shop

i bought peanut butter biscuits (my favourite at that time…tak tahu pun oreos existed) at this shop.hahaha.i had my first siu mai,lou ma kai,fishballs,charsiew pau and stuff you find at coffeeshops in a silver steam cabinet.not here la but at the coffeeshop next door.here is where i spent whatever coins i could find at numerous tikam machines.hahaha.and and and the owner of the shop has a pretty niece who taught me at kuok ming school.hahaha.i went there in the afternoons to study chinese.hahaha.i used to be able to read and write chinese but now i’m hopeless.yeah.back to the niece.i always looked forward to her lessons.she taught me moral during my first year and maths during my second year.yeah.mondays,wednesdays,fridays.those were the days she would teach my class.once i hitched a ride home with her,i  was silent the whole trip.ahahaha.and she asked me why i was quiet.muahahahaha.kuok ming school.yeah.i broke some furniture that belong to this man who actually has a house in the school compound.and as what true boys do at that age,i ran!he didn’t claim for the damages but he did glared at me whenever i’m nearby.gosh.sorry old man!

court

a basketball court RIGHT in front of my house.if only i stayed there till now,i might grow taller or become better in basketball.hmmmmmm.sadly,that’s not the case.i moved  into my current sitiawan house when i was 8.fast forward 11 years,i now have a japanese neighbour,a hairdressing neighbour and some vietname neighbours!hahaha.there’s so many movement in and out of the house every night.hahahahahahaha.some of them are sexy you know.

tadikalinden

this small building played a huge role in my life……

tadikalinden2

tadika linden!!!hahaha.did you know most of my friends went here for kindergarten?yeah.i have a tendency to remember all my firsts.i was cheated by my mum to go to kindergarten.i thought that my mum bought me a cool new red shirt and white shorts to wear for outings and such.then she told me to wear it and took me to tadika and left me on my own after 2 hours.as soon as i reached home i cried.i hated it so much.hahaha.i wonder if miss chan and mrs jeba are still there teaching young brats like me?hmmmmmm.

hall0

yes people,this is my primary school.we all fit into that building;standard one to standard six.hahahahaha.this is my school’s hall.KECERMELANGAN MATLAMAT KAMI!what a catchy slogan.

hall1

my primary school is located just beside my secondary school,separated by a wire fence.on saturdays,the hall will be filled by taikwondo students.ahhahaha.teacher’s day celebrations are held here and so does the many episodes in which tuantynn avoids tizebin.hahaha.did you know that tizebin has a crush on tuantynn?and tuantynn would avoid him when he crosses her line of sight?gosh.epic man.hahahaha

hall2

they said the hall is haunted.you can hear the piano playing by itself at nights,they claim.i haven’t heard it so far.

hauntedclass

that is the scariest classroom ever.just going up the stairs gives me the chill.gosh.i don’t even know what’s inside.to those who went in,let me know ya.

haunted1

this is where the japanese prisoners dig their own grave.and we were running around the field every single day.gosh.this is another rumour someone told me.hahaha.

toilet

the toilet.it looks disgusting.frankly,which school toilet doesn’t?however………….

insidetoilet

it looks damn decent for a school toilet.

field

the basketball court actually served as a tapak perhimpunan.and as prefects,our weekly spot check during assembly was to see if students wash their shoes or not.wtf.hahahaha.prefects got nothing else better to do.actually,i was a librarian for 2 years before becoming a prefect.cool huh.hahaha.special shoutout to ramanan here!he was my first friend in primary school.hahaha.i also had my first discipline case in primary school.i “extorted” money from tizebin.hahahaha.we had a bet about whether ultraman would air later in the day during a tuition class.i was thinking “gosh,easy rm1 for me”.so the next day when i went and claimed my prize,he reported to the headmistress.wtf.over rm1 i got a discipline case.hahahaha.small kids those days…sigh.

peepee

small kids these days!!!hahaha.they have no shame at all.if you can see clearly,there’s a taikwondo student peeing behind the bush.hahahaha.he’s so unlucky i was there to take photos.ahahahahaha.

pkm

the owner of this shop is one of mankind’s greatest contributors:his greatest contribution to the world is none other than IVY HAR.ahahahahaha.mr har,you are one good man that shall be remembered by me!hehehe.his 2nd greatest contribution to the world is the fact that he sold me a PC.by selling the PC,he gave me access to the internet.thus the birth of my blog.if it wasn’t for him,you wouldn’t be reading this post at all.

curryhouse

home curry house!if there’s a restaurant i would frequent for every meal for a whole month or two,it’s got to be this kick-ass joint.ok,maybe the food is not that great but its definitely convenient.i used to walk under the scorching heat with ang on days our mums got too lazy to cook.now we drive as we are too lazy.hahaha.super gay since last time.

nnewspaper

this is the place to get both NST and the star after 11am.during school holidays when there was no newspaper from school,i used to cycle all the way to this joint.hahahaha.why 11am?that’s because i usually wake up at 10-ish.by then its way too late to get english newspapers at stands near my house.so,what has to be done must be done.i have to get them newspapers!

 capri

capri.hahahaha.this is my most favourite place to eat.fine,maybe fullpann has better food.fine,fullpann has air con.fine,fullpann has no moaquitoes.but i really really like capri.maybe its the atmosphere.hmmmm.i should stop thinking about it.i’m already drooling.

cinema

hehe.sitiawan’s local cinema.it’s kinda an amazing building if you had witness it transform from a rundown building to one of sitiawan’s money-milkers.yeah.this building has a rich history.countless tamil movies have been screened here,countless (actually there weren’t many)chairs thrown within the screening halls and countless pink tickets sold by the old chinese ladies at the counter.yeah.i wonder what happened to the old aunty.

thestore

i give you sitiawan’s main shopping hub:THE STORE!!!hahaha.yeah.sorry about the poor picture.its kinda dangerous to take a picture while driving.bolehlah,the picture is kinda decent.anyway,here is where samuel gets most of its clothes (this line is referred to his friends who were/still studying with him at the UK).hehe.yogurt here is very fresh,unlike what some people claim.anyway,its still going strong despite competition from billion,ceria,econsave and giant.that might soon change with jusco being proposed to open a branch just opposite to giant.hehe.finally,a well known branch of deparmental store since parkson.hohoho.

thursdaymarket

this is where you find a lot of people on a thursday afternoon:the thursday market.i used to think that the thursday market was on a grand scale until i came to KL and witness connaught night market.if thursday market is a proton then connaught pasar malam is a mercedes.hahahaha.i opt to describe connaught pasar malam as a mercedes as i’ve heard there’s a bigger pasar malam somewhere in KL.hehe.anyway,this place evokes many memories.the most significant one was when i went there on ang’s motorbike without a helmet and was caught by my mum.as a result,my license classes were DELAYED.i was furious and so was she.hahahaha.the worst part is she sent an sms to ian’s phone informing me that she was going to delay my license classes.how embarassing was that!!!apa mau buat?i didn’t own a handphone at that time.and when i thought i owned one during post PMR,it was stolen at Lost World of Tambun.damn!!!!

lookinggood

this is what could be a specialists center in the future.the doctors that might run this place is daryl yeak,ian goh,ling j-cyn,samuel ding and maybe a few dentists.hahaha.manjung parade!!sitiawan’s most tak laku punya building.yeah.it once housed lookinggood,a supermarket.it was not a nice place to shop.i only remembered it as there was an A&W outlet.if there’s one reason to force me to lookinggood its A&W.then it was institut tech,a tuition center where the air-con was freaking cold.there was a store selling pokemon cards too there.there was also a gym.that is until the building housed a snooker center.hehehe.

facial

C&E beauty house.I STRONGLY URGE YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE TO NOT TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS WITH YOUR PHONE WHILE DRIVING!!!!!hahaha.its dangerous and your photos don’t come out that good.anyway,i now have to start looking for a facial shop nearby my house here in KL as i don’t think i will go there for facials in the future.i will really miss the relaxing face massages and the countless advice to drink more water from the aunties.hahahaha.

tucky

haha.red light at the traffic light.its ok to take a shot.if there’s a notion to eat chicken rice then i would gladly drive all the way to restoran tucky.hahaha.

 P8140428

this is by far the most important building in sitiawan:SMK Methodist (ACS) Sitiawan.no,EST 1903 does not mean there are 1903 students who got an A1 in English for Science and Technology (EST).in fact,we did so badly for EST until the school opt not to offer the subject anymore.EST in this case means ESTablished.hahaha.so basically my school is 106 years old this year.cool huh?

classblock

this is my class block from form 1 to form 4.it used to be in white but it has now transformed into a butter/balai polis/mr bean school.why yellow dr ashleigh?haha.i used to walk slowly along this road after school so that two girls will shout “BYE BYE SACHIN!” if they are still there.well,i only wanted to hear it from ONE of the girls.the other one just kacau!hehe.but after 2 weeks they got bored of saying bye-bye to me.sigh.anyway,my class would be at the front end of the block except in form 1 where i was in 1A3.hahaha.the class was so much fun.

canteen

the canteen:where we escape to after hours of studying (more like daydreaming,sleeping,reading newspaper,buat bissing,gossiping).i will always remember fear factor uncle who has left school after the class of 2007.mingsern used to be his usual customer until 2005 or sometime then.i think he did not like his ‘happy meal’.in fact,many didnt like the free gifts that came with his ‘happy meal’.they went and lodged numerous complaints because they found cockroaches,flies,lizard’s tail (nice wat the cintan mee,sup ekor wert).once,ang found a rubber band in his fried sotong.WTF.hahaha.i would always go for indian nasi lemak.then i will tambah fried egg,chicken,sambal telur (the sambal of the sambal telur way way way better than the normal sambal).at times i will get sirap cincau to drink.hahaha.if i were to drink it on a daily basis sure i’ll get diabetes.anyway,the quality of the sambal has deteriorated since i left.the highly addictive chicken nuggets there are now sold by mr burong’s wife:5 for rm2.damn.last time the chinese aunty sold 3 for rm1.maybe yihan got discount or something because he’s always seen hitting on taliking to the aunty.hmmm.maybe yihan got discount from the indian stall instead since he’ll go for his customary 2nd round of kueyteow with cucur smothered in sambal.hahahahahaha.i will also remember air suam kurang manis and teh tarik kurang manis tambah susu.WTF again.

pole

the forbidden pole.you are not allowed to touch the shown pole.its contaminated with chiaching’s booger!

court

basketball court.recently it has been resurfaced and the backboard was replaced.i had many memories at this court.i joined the closed competition first with NUMB (hahaha…we were easily distinguished with our football jersey tops) and then with CDMC Avengers!hahaha.we were the worst team ever.we lost all 7 of our matches.i did end up as the team’s top scorer.oh ya,i broke a flower pot in frustation as well.hahaha.sachin the vandal!!!!

tennis

our school has a tennis court.cool huh?

hall

library.guess which one of them is my sister.hahahaha.

men's

guys’ toilet.only open whenever the janitor feels like opening.it is the newer one.

men's2

guys’ common toilet.always open.hahaha.so dirty.you can find cigarette boxes in the flush tanks.once during a spot check,i found poop in the tank.how it got there remains a disgusting mystery.gosh.it’s so high up.how on earth did that guy pull off an upper decker?

ladies'

ladies’ toilet.it smells worse than the guys’ toilet.i kid you not.

IMG_0002

this is my form 2 class photo.somehow my face is scratched off.aiyo.haha.i had misplaced my form 1 class photo.

IMG_0001

form 3 photo.one of mums’ worst nightmares:their sakai sons in white pants!hahaha.my mum had a super hard time cleaning my pants as they get dirty way too easily.hahahaha.

IMG_0004

form 4 class photo.it would have been so much better if there are a few people from 4Sc2 were to be in 4Sc1 and melissa would just vanish from the face of the earth.i had a torrid time in form 4 being teased.aiyo!

P10006241

form 5 class.best class ever!hahaha.

class1

this is where i sit:at the side of a window.it’s seriously an ideal place to sit because……..

class2

i can actually see more of the class.my class used to be in white.its so much darker now.if my class was pink 2 years ago surely i cannot really see *ehem*….i’ll stop here.you guys must not know what and who i always see in class.hahahaha.

class3

the arrow points to where clarence and another fella will flirt with kuanpeihuang.hahaha.samuel,please don’t leave nasty comments about her or her sister later ok?hahaha.you can seriously look at the pretty girls who pass by.hahaha.

did you know i have 49 crushes in school?hahaha.i kept score ok but mostly they are mini crushes.full crushes are rare and few in between.and only a few of those full crushes actually developed into something more (i mean my feelings,not our relationships).hahaha.out of 49,2 of them are 1 year younger;3 are 1 year elder,5 are 2 years elder,4 are 3 years elder,and the rest are all of the same age.however,of the few that i will certainly remember for the rest of my life………

yiwen_pudubreak[1]

i will always remember ling yiwen.she was my FIRST high school crush.ahahahahaha.chiaching,alan must be going wtf wtf wtf.hahahaha.yeah.so what.i had a crush on her until i knew of changyung’s existence.hahaha.its really a sad way to know somebody exist because he got through to your crush’s heart.hahaha.its ok though.my next (full) crush was way hotter than her.ahahahahahahaha.

i will remember the crap we talked and did in school.hahaha.there will always be a poll created by snow whitetigress about who is the most handsome in class,or who is the manliest in class.i never got the highest rating before (which is 1) from anybody in class.hahaha.then samuel who clearly is incensed because he didn’t get the highest rating would condemn the act,saying that chianwoon and the girls are wuliao.hahaha.i’ll be singing along with him because i’m also a tad bit disappointed because i didn’t get no 1.ahahahaha.it really serves as an ego-booster if you get a very high rating.muahahahahahahaha.

i will always remember the scout camps in school and what fun can the presence of a few motorcycles can bring.romp-it outings were memorable especially during ang’s birthday.hahaha.just so that i won’t forget,i was the director of pillion riders.i have no idea what the positions are for.all i know i was riding pillion.favoured destined rider will always be ian goh,director of safe riding.i’m almost certain my life is at great hands whenever i ride pillion on his blue lagenda.hahaha.i also remember the time when chiaching took jacob’s motorbike and rode with the others for makan.then he met an accident at the crystal hotel traffic light.the first thing he did after he got up is to see whether his tapau-ed milo was spilled or not instead of inspecting the damage done on jacob’s motor.jacob never let anyone borrow his bike again…………

the reason i’m writing this post is that i’m leaving for india for the next 2 years.by the time i’m back i won’t return to sitiawan as my mum finally shifts to KL.it is a very disheartening situation you know.i grew up in a small humble town and watch it develop alongside me.there was no 7-11 before i took my PMR.now there are 4 outlets.people from sitiawan would eat mcdonald’s whenever they travel outstation.now they eat something else because they got sien of eating mcdonalds since there’s a mcd outlet here.i use to pity those lala mui-s of simpang tiga who dress up nicely to go shop at econsave but soon they can dress up to go to jusco in another few years time.

i’ll miss you sitiawan.you gave me kongpiang,late night nasi lemak,fresh seafood.but most importantly,you gave me the best memories and the time of my life.

lanternbatman

this was the most recent outing:my farewell party.it is the most gut-wrenching outing so far.hahaha.justin got me this batman lantern.this is the best lantern ever.when i was forced to make a speech before i cut my cake,i almost cried and winnie was recording it.hahaha.it would be so not macho if i did cry.anyway,i got hanshin to feed me the cake.hahahaha.

the memories are there because of you guys.you people are pieces of a puzzle.if a few pieces are missing then the puzzle would not be complete and you will not see the full picture as the pieces could not be replaced.you are pieces that i would like to keep forever.sounds familiar right yvonne?i copied and edited your sms.hahahaha.you guys mean the world to me.i will miss you guys a lot.i’ll miss HER more though.ahahahahaha.

i started blogging because it was a trend back then but now i trully realised what the purpose of blogging is for:it serves to a be a reminder of the joys and treasured memories you’ve accumulated throughout the years and the happiness is shared to those who mean the most to you.i will update my blog more when i get there so you guys would know what is going on there.someday,i will return to sitiawan.the only problem is i have no place to stay.ang budget hotel and recreation centre:your favourite customer will be back.save a place for me will ya!

the boy who is able to celebrate a huge festivity due to one half of his cultural upbringing

to those who bugged me about not updating my blog,i said i was returning after chinese new year!!if you are smart enough,you would know that there are 15 days before chinese new year officially ends.technically,i’m only 3 days late.

anyway,i celeberated chinese new year in sitiawan this year.i did not get the expensive tickets back to my mum’s hometown which is located at East Malaysia and accessible only by aircrafts (although a ferry would do but it is NOT a sensible choice).here are the things i did during chinese new year

chinese new year eve

i had reunion dinner at home.haha.its very weird when my family actually sat down at the dining area and eat.usually,i’ll eat and finish first followed by other family members.i guess that’s what reunion dinners are for.later,i went over to chianwoon’s house at 10pm.i fetched arronan with me.at about 10.30pm,ang proposed a notion to meet with azizi TNB.haha.i haven’t seen him in a year so i decided to pay him a visit.but as we made our move,yvonne scolded us in chinese.i couldn’t get what she was saying but i certainly can feel her displeasure from the tone of her voice.anyway,spent a good 20 minutes at his house before sending arronan home.reached home around 11.15pm.yes,i went home early to hit the sack so that i could have sufficient energy for the ipoh trip my mum suggested the next day.however…….

first day of chinese new year

…THE TRIP WAS CANCELLED!!!!!wah.i was so pissed when i found out the next morning.i was really really really REALLY looking forward to the ipoh trip.it was so unfair.i went home early,i slept early,i woke up early but i didn’t get to go to ipoh.mum knew about my displeasure (i think it was etched on my face) so she made up for it by bringing me to fullpann for dinner.hahaha.i prefer capri though but hey,beggars can’t be choosers.there i met joanne ho,my tadika girlfriend (sort of…hehehe) and her family of course.haha.she was my best friend in tadika.even my dad remembers her name!!haha.when my dad remembers one of my friends,he/she must have made quite an impression.so far,he could only remember ang,justin,arronan,ramanan,glenn,chiaching,yihan and erm,the list ends there.haha.sadly,joanne and i grew further apart (guess its my fault).anyway,my mum’s treat of redemption doesn’t end there….

second day of chinese new year

i started off the sunny,beautiful day with……

magicsandals1

 A NEW PAIR OF SANDALS!!!woot.haha.yeah yeah yeah.an amazing pair of footwear that was bought when the day was still young.i forgot what was the model of the sandals though.it was something like weatherwalker 4 or something.haha.who cares.i’ll just rename it as magic sandals 3 in line with my other magical footwear.my first pair of sandals lasted me a good 2 years before succumbing to the harsh wear and tear inflicted by my big feet.my second pair which costs rm10 more outdid itself by lasting 3 years!even the longest serving magic shoes i have is in its third year (its because i barely wear them).since my new sandals cost me more than double the price of the previous pair,i hope it will last more than double the time,which is more than 6years.

magicsandals2

isn’t it a beauty???turns out that daryl and supposedly kennyhar has the exact same pair!!great minds think alike!

with a brand new pair of sandals,i made my way to jiayo’s house.it was surprising that her dad knew me.that’s because i’m sure that i have never met him prior to her daughter’s invitation to the organised gathering.he even served me tea.j-cyn wore a skirt that day.really surprising.when i asked whether the skirt was her mum’s,she gave me her stern (albeit not that intimidating) look and said “ITS MINE!!!”.haha.sorry???

anyway,after a quick lunch,we went to hanshin’s house.yeah.i had a mini crush on her but that was a long time ago.hohoho.it was so cosy that you can practically sleep there.the weather was sleep-inducing too.it was raining heavily.i notice daryl dozing off for a few minutes.that was before……BLACK JACK!!!

daryl

hehe.daryl looking to win big.he was at first.hoesiang was the unfortunate one to be the banker.he was giving out money like an ATM

winbig

haha.chiaching getting all hyped up.i got a small gain from gambling there.with a rm3,i made a profit of rm5.woot.but the biggest winner of was hoesiang.he made a profit of rm150++.the reason for his big win?aunties who bet big!

hanshinhse

haha.valentine’s day is this saturday alan!!!go for it!!!

then we went over to yuanwen’s house.she has a nice backyard.

yuanwenhse

we continued blackjack.i quit when i lost the rm5 that i have won.hehe.gambling was so stressful.

osim

that’s why its best to have your own OSIM human masseuse!haha.she has great hands you know.its sad how she could not massage me harder.

later that night,i went over to chooiping’s house.it turns out we were gonna celebrate her birthday that night.had cake and played with firecrackers.

rocket

gosh.i’m fatter.need to shed the fats A.S.A.P.hahaha,we didn’t get to set off the rocket because chooiping’s dad said it was dangerous.hahaha.we had fun especially yuanwen.she never played firecrackers before.hahaha.somehow hanshin looks very attractive when playing with firecrackers.hmmmmm

third night of chinese new year

we went over to weijian’s house.

weijianhse

weijian is a very generous man.he gave me rm5 after 4 rounds of gambling.woot.i stopped after winning rm5.i don’t gamble much.hehehe.anyway,i decided to play “slap dai dee” with chiaching,daryl and yvonne.its “cho dai dee” with a twist really.the winner gets to slap the loser.2 cards=1 slap.”dai dee” was never my forte.as a result,i got 3 slaps from chiaching,1 tender-loving pat on the cheek by yvonne,and 7 heavy ones from daryl.total slaps received=14! total slaps given=4.haha.not bad.i won and got the chance to slap daryl. “slap him hard…don’t give face…you’ll regret!!” chiaching told me that it would be a mistake for not slapping daryl full force.i was overcome with guilt when i slapped daryl.when he slapped me,i know why i shouldn’t have held back.7 heavy,monstrous blows.they were like punches.serious.his hands were big.chiaching’s slaps were not as painful as daryl’s,but they lingered on for a very long time.guess it’s because of his long,thin fingers.i wondered how my slaps feel.hmmm.anyway,we covered our ears when we received the slaps.it’s to ensure that we don’t damage our eardrums and go deaf.think twice before slapping someone.

the night was still young as we entered the……

fourth day of chinese new year

i followed chiaching’s car to mcd.it was the most hillarious car ride i’ve sat on.its amazing how alcohol really affects the brain.alan was saying stuff that only a drunk alan can cay.its too explicit to be written down here.if you wanna know what he said,just get him drunk and most probably you’ll get the same thing i got.

chicken prosperity burger was not bad,but not good either,rm16++ for a combo is really expensive but when i got twister fries,i ain’t complaining.hahaha.next,we went to titi panjang to play snooker.well,they played snooker.alan,chiaching and i went to sing karaoke.rm1.50 for a song.it was not a bad price.after paying for 7 songs,we went into the room only to be joined by ian,ang and eventually the rest of the gang minutes into our first song, mambo no 5.i now know why people sing karaoke.it was a stress reliever.we had so much fun singing songs like YMCA,mamma mia,you give love a bad name,country road among others.then we paid for more songs.we even sang songs from weijian’s favourite band,the backsidestreet boys.hahaha,truth to be told,every boy dreamt about being a backstreet boy when they were younger.that is until they reach their teens where their taste evolved into something more like coldplay,foo fighters,kanye west,alicia keys,john legend just to name a few.it was fun being a backstreet boy!!!anyway,i just let my friends know that i’m a terrible singer.frankly,i knew this day would come and i don’t care!!!

the day (night actually) was not over yet.i reached home at 3-ish.slept and woke up at 3.40-ish to gastric attack.wtf.damn painful.i couldn’t sleep and i finally gave in to the pain,seeking help from mum to send me to a 24 hour clinic.i was charged rm 65 for a bottle of milk of magnesia (rm2 at megan kong’s mum’s pharmacy),9 orange tablets (rm2 for 12 tablets at a local pharmacy),5 white tablets (price unknown) and a jab at my right cheek (waist down).the jab was more painful that a shot in the arm.time i slept=7am.

then i woke up at 11am.took my bath and breakfast and went for an avatar-and-dexter-receiving,ego-boosting trip over to yuanwen’s.we talked for a short while before i’m off to home.i then hit the sack again.

woke up in time to go to yuki’s place for CNY gathering.she was having a barbeque.i only had fried meehoon because i’m supposed to avoid oily and spicy food.we then played electric current.yvonne tried to get the boys to play “slap dai dee” but no one was willing.she was trying to convince people to play.i’m not sure but it seems like she likes to see men in pain.S&M fan maybe???ouch.haha.then i found out that another person knew who stole the cookie from the cookie jar.since she knows,i’m assuming that her friend knows as well.total number of people who knows who stole the cookie from the cookie jar=6-ish (it could be 7 depending whether the 7th one is sure or not).too many people know who stole the cookies.guess i have to erase them one by one starting with a certain yellow bear who wears a tight red shirt.just kidding.frankly,it does not really matter if everyone knows who stole the cookie from the cookie jar.on that note,it is still inappropriate for those who know to spread the news.if word leaks out,i’m coming for your head yellow bear!

chinese new year celebration in KL

haha.i only went to two houses to celebrate.

shehulkcard

jueanne’s birthday was on the 2nd of february.her mum invited us for her surprise party.i made her a birthday card.as you can see,my artwork is atrocious.haha.we played cards and had a slice of suchan cake.the cake was fantastic.a few days later went over to yiwen’s house.haha.more gambling ensued and i lost rm15!!!that was my modal.lost it completely.haha.on a plus point,a girl taught me how to view upskirts.i’m so not kidding you!!!!

hahahaha.CNY to me,is just another event to bring friends and family together.many youngsters today care about the drinking,the gambling,the girls in sexy clothes and not to forget the red packets.they have lost sight on what’s really important about CNY.culture.tradition.family.fellowship.bonding.fun.

most chinese (and indians) drink during CNY.get a designated driver.please…..

dundrinkndrive

don’t drink and drive!

the boy who underwent self-inflicted mental torture (again) and steps he took to dampen the effect

my mum trapped me at home every night.i have a curfew.sigh.my holidays are not going as well as i have planned.i only met some of my friends after a WEEK back in sitiawan.argh!stupid final exams in january!damn you!holidays lost its holiness when you spent majority of it studying

anyway,here’s what i did to relieve stress

i went bowling

bowling

haha.weijian,junbiao,jacob,tizebin and i went for bowling at our local bowling alley.it’s funny how they woke up early just to play bowling.however,it made lots of sense.early birds get rm2.50 a game.i went once and finished 2nd twice in 5 games.not bad eh!

i went for snooker

i went for snooker at SRC (Sitiawan Recreational Club).i didn’t know sitiawan actually has such a cool place.wow.after 17 years of living in sitiawan,i had never stepped in there before.when i did step in,it was for badminton and snooker.we actually have to get the balls from the bar.what do you know?you have to wear long pants and covered shoes to enter.haha.we are all in shorts and flip-flops (well,i was the only one with flip-flops…the rest were with slippers) so when we entered the bar,some old farts were making a ruckus.

old man1:wei….look at them…they are wearing slippers…cannot cannot!!!

oldman2:yeah yeah…they wearing shorts…what is this???

oldman3:don’t worry, they are here for the balls…they are playing snooker upstairs.

yeah old farts!we are going upstairs.why are you feeling violated?you’ve already violated it with the cigarettes and alcohol.just shut up and drink as well as smoke your way to a shorter life.

weijian

weijian in action.i suck at this game.i was practically ‘santa claus’.i was giving away points because of the many fouls i’ve made

score1

the score since the beginning and throughout the  first game…..

score21

the score at the end of the first game.ehehehe.not bad.anyway,i had a healthy lead of 16 during the second game (no kidding) but ended up with 0 at the end.i’m no good at this.

celebrated the winter solstice fesitval

tangyuan1

mmmmm.tangyuan in the making.haha.these dough will be rolled into balls and fed to me!!ahahahah.me!!! (i’m a greedy pig).

mumandaunty

it was supposed to be a family affair but my mum chased me out of the kitchen.the other lady is my neighbour/hairstylist.she asked me to show me my girlfriend’s picture.i told her i never had one.gosh.people think that when you study in KL you should get a girlfriend.it’s not easy when you’re vertically challenged ok!

anyway,legend has it that if you collect 7 balls,the sky will go dark and a magical dragon will appear before you and grant you 3 wishes.once granted,the 7 balls will be scattered across the world.what do you know?i have the 7 balls!!!

dragonball

the sky did turned dark alright,only for it to rain.no dragon.no wish granted.sigh.if i had three wishes they would be:

1. grow taller till my height reaches at least 180cm

2.have enough money for my education

3.for it to snow in malaysia during my birthday.ahahahahah

sadly;instead of getting three wishes granted,i became a mythbuster.sigh.

let a girl do whatever she wants with my hair using hair wax and temporary hair dyes

hair1

well,it was amazing that my hair could be transformed into something like this since it was short.good job shuwai.haha.why on earth did i sit at a table where i was the only guy at aoife’s birthday party?so i had to be kambing korban.at first when shuwai applied wax on my head it was kinda relaxing.from that point onwards i was wishing that she could apply wax/shampoo on my hair daily.that is until she pulled my hair to give it a spiky look.it was so painful.credit should be given to her though.my hair looks good at the back but not at the front (to me la….i felt i looked like hoe siang…no offense shuwai!!!).

spike

hehe.like i said,my hair was short and thin.after the spikes are made,you can clearly see my scalp.

hair2

my hair was like a KH project,sprayed in different colours.

ate roti canai milo

roticanaimilo

ahahaha.roti canai milo was interesting.i knew the existence from guangshi.she had it in klang.i never heard about it in sitiawan so i decided to give it a shot.haha.the result:sweet and must be eaten when its hot.or else it’ll  get stuck between your teeth.

got a present for christmas

present

haha.i got a present for christmas.it means that i’m a good boy.naughty children don’t get presents.just ask jueanne or ang.even jacob didn’t get one.hahahahha.

hahaha.by the way,i discovered that i get panic attacks easily.like when my dad didn’t reach home even when its past midnight (he usually reaches latest by 11pm),i panicked and imagined him being involved in an accident or worse.the problem of having an active imagination is that you can’t really control the thoughts in your head when a situation is given to you.so i need to be distracted from those horrid thoughts or being reassured and comforted.thank you shehulk!this means that my girlfriend must stay calm and reassure/comfort/distract me when i’m having a panic attack.i’m very good at scaring myself.hahaha.so,that requirement goes down with other BASIC qualities in the list to become a potential girlfriend of mine

  1. long hair (at least shoulder length)
  2. nice eyes
  3. witty
  4. talks in english most of the time
  5. can engage in intelligent conversation (i don’t want to talk crap most of the time)
  6. mature (so that it’ll rub off on me)

haha.any potential suitors?ehehehehe

the boy who has found a way to look taller although in real life he is vertically challenged (SHORT!!!)

the SALSA of my college had organised “starry night” which is an annual dinner for students like me.for those not in the know,SALSA in this case,is not a type of latin dance,but is an abbreviation for School of A-Levels’ Students Association.really?hahaha.i have no idea on what SALSA means either although i got the first three letters of SALSA right.eheheeheh.

anyway,at first,not many were willing to go except a notable student and jueanne.hahaha.the rest did not want to go.why aren’t they interested?its once in a course (for january intake….april and june get to go twice!) affair.hahaha.for starters,it fell on a thursday night,which effectively killed any hopes for an afterparty (in my case…some actually went for an afterparty).second (again in my case),not glamorous enough.ahahaha.it is a semi-formal affair so i was not expecting the girls to dress up nicely.i was soon to be proven wrong.

how did we all go?well,it was due to the assistant head of the department,Ms Nalina.she somehow influenced us to go,with a story about us being ugly ducklings who turned into swans (dressed up nicely,looking pretty and handsome) and how the single guys  (we are all single except for 3 people…another guy and i were the only ones who never had a girlfriend before) could actually get potential girlfriends.ahahaha.in my opinion,we bought the ticketrs just to support a friend of mine,choonhou because he was one of two people who were given the responsibility to sell the tickets (i’m unsure about the other guy’s sales…i guess its poor).

grpchem

i didn’t censor his face because i hate him or have something against him.i did it because his eyes were closed.

grpchem2

see,i was not lying.ehehehehehe

anyway,its a well known fact that i’m vertically challenged.in fact,i’m the second most shortest guy in my class.yup,the guys in my class are tall.however,if our build is converted into height,then i would be the third or fourth tallest.that’s because there are only 2 or 3 guys who are bigger than me (in terms of build).anyway,there are only two girls in my class who are taller than me (jueanne and guangshi) by a few cm.the rest are either as tall,or shorter than me.but glamorous functions are where guys like me are at a disadvantage.the footwear of choice for girls are high heels,wedges or shoes which elevate them a few cm taller.dahla i was botak,i cannot style my hair (if it can be styled…lots and lots of hairspray is needed) to make myself look taller.sigh.what are we,hobbits (short guys) going to do with public enemy no 1 a.k.a formal functions.fortunately,the genius (me!!!!) has found a way to look taller in photographs without wearing elevated shoes (they are expensive and endorsed by tom cruise).YOU CAN………

stand up whereas the taller girls sit down

family1

sitting from left: husband no 1,wife/mom,husband no 3.

standing from left:adopted son from siam,daughter of wife and husband no 1

ahahahaha.see.now there’s no tall girl to compare me with.smart eh!!!

sit down while the girls stand

grp2

clockwise from top left:guangshi,maygin,samantha,tania,me and charissa

the taller girls,guangshi (natural+heels) and samantha (heels) are standing whereas i’m sitting.although it’s kinda rude,the photograph in no way shows that i’m shorter than the above mentioned girls.

take a step forward before the photographer takes the picture

grp1

from left:leemei,syecheen,jueanne,me,yeemun and yiwen

by taking a step forward,you’ll look tall in the photograph.in my case,it’s proven as i appear taller than jueanne (natural+heels).

take a shot with a girl who automatically bends her knees and tilts her head slightly  in every one-on-one photo

jueanne

haha.no explanation here.

stand close to the camera so that the photograph shows you from the knees up,then extend yourself by tiptoe-ing (is there such a word???!!!)

mishi

i tiptoe-d because guangshi is taller than me despite her tilting her head slightly (why must girls wear heels???).note,apply this technique if  and only if the girl will look much taller than you in the photigraph.try to do it without her noticing (i almost succeeded if it wasn’t for someone to point out my ‘elevation’…babi that fella…ahahaha).luckily she laughed when she found out.if i didn’t use this technique then she’ll look like snow white while i’ll look like her chindian dwarf!!!

take a photo with a girl who is shorter than you

tania1

don’t worry my fellow hobbits,there will be shorter girls than you (turns out i’m not that short…ahahaha)

botakpendek

ceh.what is so funny?short people can be prom king ok!!!in fact,short people can do many things.in Lord of the Rings,it was Frodo and Sam,both of them hobbits,both of them SHORT,were the ones chosen to destroy the ring (well,it was Frodo only,Sam follow him just to kepoh...ahahaha…nola…without sam it is certain that frodo will fall to the ring);not aragorn,not gandalf,not legolas,not the taller people!!!!see!!!short people rule!!!!

anyway,i was not prom king,he is

promking2

yong choon hou.ahahaha.with him is paulynn.he was indeed the better looking and most charismatic of the four nominees but i suspect he won due to some “inside job” by a certain chemistry lecturer.bwahahahahaha.despite not being porn,woops,prom king,i did got a title by my classmates:bouncer!!!they say i look like club punya jaga because i look buff in my tight shirt.it’s not tight,it’s well fitting.oh ya,some girls say i have the nicest biggest butt.and again,it’s due to my well-fitting slacks.

discussions

ahahahhaahaha.rest assured they were not discussing about my butt at this time.

so,to all my fellow short brothers/hobbits (especially ian and kalai…ehehehehe),i’ve shown you the way to be taller (at least in photographs).use them wisely you must.

tania2

ahahaha.i am a genius.again to my fellow hobbits/brothers: MAY THE HEIGHT,*woops,i mean,FORCE BE WITH YOU!!!!!

the boy who is so hot that he could be a contributing factor to global warming

kahhau

that was his reaction when he saw a figure walking in the hall……..

kenneth

the people who witnessed it couldn’t believe their eyes.was it an optical illusion??

kiki

he thought that he has identified the being but he was so wrong when he classified the being.he should have added “hot” in front of “botakhead”.

potrait1

hehe.i shaved my head.

i clearly remembered last year when yuanwen or jiayi claimed that we(botak crew) were stupid  because we went for a mass shave.“we are not stupid ok!!!we are the trendsetters!!!” replied chiaching. he was right.the BotakCrew inspired not one,but two groups of 8(one in the morning session and another in the afternoon session in my secondary school)  to shave their heads (copycats!!!).not only that,we also set young girls’ hearts on fire!!!bwahahahahaha.

i don’t know why but i feel very very manly/macho when i shave my head.its true.i feel like james bond (daniel craig version) everytime i stroke my well-trimmed hairdo.

bond

hehehehe.

i remembered the time when i entered the chemistry lab.my classmates went “wow”/”oh my god”/speechless.“wah sachin!i cannot recognise you!” said samantha. “nice hair” charissa beckoned. haha.charissa’s comment made my day.my not-so-new female classmates took it quite well.however,they were a bit curious on why i shaved my hair.

tania: why you cut your hair like that?

sachin: erm..for fun…why?is it really that bad?

tania: nola…it’s nice…i like it!!

HAH!see,she likes it.it means that there are other girls who like it too.ahahahaha.it’s funny how i can shave my head for fun but others around the world are quickly losing it and need hair badly.hahaha.these naturally-bald men would do anything for hair.hahahaha.a few notable examples of these ppor fellows: rafa benitez (liverpool manager),datuk seri najib razak (our deputy prime minister),arjen robben and wesley sneijder (real madrid players),wayne rooney (manchester united…we know why he is losing his hair…that boy must go for anger management classes) and a certain good friend of a certain school teacher with the surname Phang (no prizes for guessing).anyway,not everyone agrees with tania’s opininion.

discussion

“sachin,you’re so brave!!whenever i have a bad haircut,i would stay indoors,” .what the hell is that supposed to mean,meiyun?ahahaha.yeemun and guangshi asked me whether i was dumped or devastated to the point where i lost my conscience.for the record,i never had a girlfriend and i shaved my head not because i was devastated,but for fun.well,not really.it all started when daryl egged the rest of the BC (Botak Crew) to go bald.fine,ian and i agreed.but when i shaved my head thinking that ian would follow suit,he bailed on me.hahaha.babi fella!!!never mind,what is done is done.my hair grows at a reasonably fast rate so i’m not too bothered.hey,i save shampoo,conditioner,hair gel and sometimes electricity (i blowdry my hair sometimes when its really long and thick).

haha.anyway,my lecturers reacted postively.mr chan (former chemistry lecturer) said i look smart (in appearance and intelect…no kidding) whereas my maths lecturer offered me a free haircut.it seems that she bought a shaver at home and shaves the heads of the males in her life (her husband and two kids).she claimed that the money which could be spent on their haircut (an average RM7 for a haircut) is saved and spent on her hairdo instead.wow,i would never marry a maths teacher.miss annie said i looked neat and gave me her signature thumbs up!!!

annie1

haha.everytime i see her showing her signature thumbs up,i wonder whether she was supposed to teach me chemistry or appear in housewife-friendly advertisements (promoting domestic goods such as cleaning agents etc)

annie2

haha.you know,my classmate thinks she could even be the Yakult girl (replacing melissa campbell if i’m not mistaken).let’s just hope that she concentrates on shoving chemical equations and calculations into my head.

comparisons

haha.people compare me to a lot of people when i’m bald.jueanne said i looked like owen yap (who’s that?) while others beg to differ.here are some of the notable comparisons that have been made.

tweener (Prison Break character)

tweener_prison_break1

man,since when do i look like tweener.i didn’t shave my head to look like the character best rememberes as the one who gets sodomised,ok!it’s more like i shaved my head to look like wentworth miler

wentworth_miller1

hahaha.he and i have a lot in common.he has very thin eyebrows while i have…….oh,never mind.oh oh oh,he is gay while i’m……..sigh.guess the only thing we have in common is our hairstyles,huh?

Barack Obama (President Elect of USA)

obama1

aoife,you are so funny.how on earth do we appear alike?hehe.he’s a tall,lanky guy who’s going to lead a country while i’m just a short guy who,well,is short.to be honest,i thought hilary clinton would win.i don’t know why but it doesn’t really matter who’s the president of USA.they say that Obama’s win signifies that the world is changing and people are accepting the minority as the leaders of a nation.

i’m not interested in politics.to me,his win serves up as an excuse for our politicians to make ludicrous comments like a non-bumi can be our next PM and so and so. although we all want that to happen,it’s not really going to materialise soon,isn’t it?as long as there are idiots in the country who in turn elect idiots to the Parliament (think sexist and rude MPs…those “b***** b******”…ahahahah),our country would never have a non-bumi PM.come on,they berated an MP of their own just because he gave his insight on what his race has become.what about the existence of a certain opposition party that wants to ban all international female acts and give us a bald,singing monkey?!!they should concentrate more on eradicating mat rempit-s or educating those who are jahiliah. seriously la,they should present a proposal calling for fatwa on mat rempit-s.they are the real menace to society,not yoga or pengkid-s (girls who dress up like guys).

woah,sidetrack to the wrong place.hehehe

The Rock (former WWE superstar turned actor)

hahaha.people compare me to him the most.they say i really look like the People’s Champ.

comparerock

hmmm.i don’t think i look like The Rock at all.hahaha.anyway,if what people have said is true,then it would be interesting if we were to switch places.i’m the wrestling megastar while he’s just a regular teenager.

sachintherock

if you can smelllll…..what The Botak is cooking!!!!hahaha.yeah.omg.the picture looks terrible.it’s like i went for a spray tan and got it wrong.ahahaha.if i’m a wrestling star in the WWE i would…..

kellykelly

date KellyKelly,my favourite WWE diva.she’s smoking hot!!!!hahahaha.i wonder how The Rock would do being a normal teenager…….

botak

ahahahaha.my photo editting software sucks.its time i upgrade to photoshop or something.

by the way,The World’s Most ‘Wu-liao’ Mum™ has found out about my blog

p8300305

haha.she got the adress from ang.sorry ang for calling you a traitor.i guess there’s nothing much you can do but to give the URL of my blog to her.ahaha.she told me to stay away from politics and stop writing bad stuff about the stupid,big,fat b**** melissa.see,i censored it out for the first time.

i don’t know why she has to call her son and pretend to be a girl wanting to be friends as soon as she got a new number.it’s like some kind of test old mums carry out on their sons to find out whether their sons would simply invite girls home or not.however,her voice is so distinct that i could tell that she was my mum.if that’s not wu-liao enough,she called me during class and get me out of college just to participate in a game with the mix fm roadrunners.

mixfm

i was not kidding

it has been a long time since i’ve blogged.i think i’m a bit rusty.but you guys are glad i’m back,aren’t you??hehehe.

*to the tune of PCD’s song “Don’t Cha”    

DON”T CHA WISH YOUR BOTAK WAS HOT LIKE ME? (ohhhh)

DON’T CHA WISH YOUR BOTAK WAS A FREAK LIKE ME (pssssttt!!! ahhh!!!)

DON”T CHA (aaaaahhaaaahaaa)

DON”T CHA

hello world,i’m back!!!!

look ma!i’m on TV!!!again!

haha.i just found out about something.

aaron ezekiel edwards was one of 12 people shortlisted in his college for nivea’s ultimate prom nite king!he’s the one that i told you about,jueanne.the indian guy in penang.there’s a slight resemblance to christiano ronaldo here.hmmmm

guess who??ahahaha.she’s a former student of ACS sitiawan as well.she told me to keep you guys guessing.

aiyo.how come they never came to my college.at least i could try to audition or something.haha.but then the producers will go, “sorry kid.the girls are going to wear heels.it means that they will look taller.we don’t want any tom cruise-katie holmes poses.”.and again i’ll be rejected because i’m short.

ahahaha.who needs to audition for the real thing when you have a blog?!!ahahaha.let me introduce to you the candidates for Mr Sitiawan!!!woot

 

jacob chew

haha.the youngest candidate in our list aged 17 and a few days.during his form 5 days,he was the object of desire of most upper 6 girls.he’s the school’s volleyball captain and a decent basketball player.                                                                                                             

girls should go for him because: he can keep an account for all your spendings and show you how much you splurge on shoes,make-up,handbags and your expenses since he’s studying accounts.

codename:McBoyish

 

ang chun keat

don’t be fooled by this girlish post,he is actually the manliest candidate in our list.with his big build and often angry facial expression,you might think he’s someone not to mess with.however,underneath the exterior lies a kind young man who deserves to be nominated

girls should choose him because: he won’t laugh at you if you’re scared of cats.that is because he is afraid of them too.ahahaha.girls can optimise his strength to carry their shopping bags.and yes,he makes a good domestic helper (he does the housework way better than most girls)

codename: McTakutkucing

 

thilagaraaj arronan a/l mundraje

the second youngest candidate is aiming to be a chemical engineer.so far,he has some ‘chemistry’ with most girls that he interacts with.a gentle guy who packs a big punch (literally).although he’s has a few ‘spare tayar’-s,play a few rounds of badminton with him and you’ll see he has better court coverage than you.

girls should choose him because: he’s hairy.and all that hair is used to trap air for heat insulation.means you’ll feel warm when you cuddle up with him.haha.and he has a very good sense of humour.

codename: McFurry

 

ian goh hong siang

the most vertically challenged candidate in our list.i’m serious.haha.blessed in academics,this young man has lots of gadgets that he often gloats about.haha.he’s the school tennis captain and has the longest sideburns for a chinese friend of mine.

girls should choose him because: he’ll solve any problems with your computer or digital players.plus,he’ll help you with any problems if you ask him nicely.

codename: McTechnicalsupport

 

lee yi han

some girls totally dig guys in uniform.i just don’t know why. ‘captain pork’ is a nice guy.he is very disciplined and is a family man.he puts his family before anything else

girls should choose him because: although your cooking sucks, he’ll sapu all the dishes clean.yeah.you can feed him anything without any complaint.he also makes a good domestic helper.he’s also serving the country!!!!how macho is that???

codename: McPorkie

 

loh chia ching

he’s not a malay or an indian but he’s darker than me.hmmm.haha.he’s born a day before me and our name rhymes.a very fun guy to be with

girls should go for him because: he’s a ball of fun.you’ll definitely have a great time with him.if you can’t finish your food when you guys go out,he’ll finish it for you.he eats a lot despite his thin frame.

codename: McBlackie

 

daryl yeak dieu jim

he’s currently in australia now.haha.he’s a guy with a big frame.i feel like frodo when i’m with him.ish.haha.he likes photography and has a camera to express himself.check out the photos he took.they’re real good

girls should go for him because: if you like to camwhore,he’s the best guy to take your pictures.haha.a very nice bloke as well.he’s also the most mature candidate in the list

codename: McDarlie

 

gong wei jian

the most metrosexual guy in our list.haha.he has received many references to korean actors.he may not look like it in this pic because it was taken a few months back.a friend of mine said he has the best hairstyle among us.cheh,that’s because he has a mum as a hairstylist!

girls should go for him because: he’s the only candidate who has a six-pack.the rest of us think its a great achievement to have a flat tummy,having great abs is just godsend.oh ya.he has a cool car,cool clothes and a cool hairstyle.

codename: McKorean

 

justin peter joseph

he’s a mixed guy like me (chindian) and often mistaken as a malay.he was brought to the police station twice but was released.it all happened during the fasting month.the biggest and strongest of us all!!!

girls should go for him because: he cooks great food albeit having too much ginger.i quote from ang “its as if there’s a pregnant lady in the house”.he sucks at cleaning but he makes it up by serenading you with his great voice.yes,he can sing.a gentleman to say the least and he’s able to stay alive and scratch-free everytime he drives his toyota corolla with bald front tires.

codename: McLembu

 

sachin i-have-a-very-long-name-to-spell-out

haha.yeah.me myself.i didn’t want to write out my name because certain quarters will purposedly misspell my name.haha.a hyperactive guy with an infinite charm (fuyoh!!!!),he dazzles the ladies with his impeccable manners and groove (wtf?!!).the most gentleman candidate!too gentleman until he got harassed by a homosexual guy.

girls should go for ME because: i won’t laugh at your bad driving skills because i (twice) broke my mum’s side mirror (yep,the same one…TWICE!!!).you don’t have to cook for me or worry about me getting proper nutrition as i can survive on oreos and yogurt.i compensate my lack of height with confidence.i have the smoothest pair of hands among the candidates so you’ll feel good touching them.i do housework.i’m not a great cook but i can whip out some stuff (like durian+yogurt+oreo combo…tasty,NOT!!!).i’m the most polite one.i’m the most gentleman one.i’m the most charming one.and last but not least i’m the most perasan one.

codename: McShorty

so.how do we determine who’s mr sitiawan?well,you can just tell us who’s your pick.girls are strongly advised to tell us your pick.there won’t be any contest for the girls because there’s only one girl that could win and she’s from GREECE!!!haha

the boy who returned to college and realised that women should be called the ‘fairer sex’ instead of the ‘weaker sex’ all thanks to a random conversation he had with his college mates

after a week back in sitiawan,the fact about returning to college does not appeal to me.

haha.she’s right.college is better than matriculation.

i had a conversation with my friends that day.we were thinking about which of our classmates would make a good couple.“wei,i have one…curlycurly and doraemon…one garang and the other playful…good combo!!!” “yeah..i think miss elegant and treadmill man also can” “haha…the gentleman and brownie!!!hahahah…hmmm…sportysporty and chlorox boy” “cannot…tak mungkin…bu ke neng!!!” “please la…if not with him then with you is it???go on and dream about your greek goddess la”.“cheh…fine…what about me???” “you a???wait??let me think….ah…you and minnie mouse!!!!” “ahahaha…why?i mean she’s cute…but she’s too quiet for me…why did you choose her?”

later i found out that they chose her because of her size.she is quite small.wait,scratch that.they chose her because of MY SIZE!!! i’m too short. “girls want to feel safe when they’re with their partner…they must be bigger size!!!” said ju-on. am i that small??? “nola…you’re short only” claimed shehulk. but still,their claim that my girlfriend must be smaller than me to feel safe is quite disparaging.it means that i can only date girls who are smaller than yvonne so that they can feel safe.sigh.haha

however,i’m not really small.it turns out that most of the boys are just tall.if all of us are of the same height,there are only 4 people bigger than me.but i have do the biggest (and smoothest)  pair of hands and feet.muahahaha.

anyway,back to my conversation  with ju-on,shehulk with others.brownie and flower girl thinks that men who do housework are good companions. ” no no no!!!cannot!!!men should not step into the kitchen!!!!they can never do the housework!!!!” lawyer shouted out.

“huh?why?my mum made me do the chores since i was young.my sis never helped out much” “yes,men should help out.you’ll make a good husband,sachin” “cannot la…guys cannot do housework when they are married” “and why is that?i think that we (guys) have to help out in our share…besides,we might be better cleaners than our partners” “woi…we are trained by our mums ok!!!you are a bad person la,lawyer!!why can’t men help out?”

“because we men work and find money for the family.we should not be bothered by housework!!!”

what if the men is unable to work and the wife is the sole breadwinner?

“hmmm…then its fine la…we men do housework and our wives go work”

what if both of you are working?

“wahlau…you stupid or what???of course la the girl must do!!!!”

ahahaha.lawyer is a chauvinist!but he did blurted out some fine comments to defend his stand on men doing chores.yes.female readers out there would be disgusted.why do we have to do everything?we cook,clean,take care of the kids and satisfy him in bed and yet all he does is sit in front of the tv!relax,not all men are like that.some men do help out in the house.they just need a little,erm,persuasion.if you want me to do chores,it’s very easy.a tub of yogurt,complimentary oreos and a massage (either a normal one or the one that can lead to….*ehem* bedroom circus).McFlurry oreos mudpie and strawberries are very good.try it.rm5.50 without tax!

“sachin,why are you like that???if a girl scratch your car,you wouldn’t be angry to her.if a girl wanna masuk ktm,you give way.why???” “erm,because guys should be gentlemen?” “cheh,what happened when you become gentleman?kena harassed by gay”

shit.he’s right.maybe i should sit down and let lawyer attack the girls.haha.

one thing i don’t get is why everything that goes wrong is our fault.if we’re at wrong then its ok but what if the girl’s in the wrong?its still our fault!!! how come they spend our money but we can’t touch theirs?? they strongly believe in “your money,my money;my money is MINE!!” motto.so it’s ok for them to drain our pockets but we can’t go sniffing around their purses.hmph.why do we have to make the first move padahal they are the ones giving lots and lots of signals saying that they want us?why do we have to wine and dine them when a simple dinner at home will do?why can they spend lots of money on shoes but we can’t spend ours on yogurt and oreos.why can they look at other guys and say they’re hot but we can’t even look at other girls!WHY WHY WHY???!!!!

“sebab mereka tu insan yang lemah”.ya right,mr nava.take your idealogy and……………(fill in the blank yourself).we men got to think about getting the right job to get good money to support our family.we’ve got to think about the house that our family has got to live in.we’ve got to think about protecting our families.girls just wait for the right guy and marry him.see,men are at a great disadvantage!!!

anyway,i still think women whould be empowered.no longer are they domestic maids,eye candy or sexual-fulfilment-devices.they are human beings and deserve equal treatment. God created everyone equal.although he blessed men with strength,it doesn’t mean that we should use it to push women around.”behind every successful man,is a woman”. bet you’ve never heard “behind evey successful woman is a man” right?ahahaha.

women should not be called the “weaker sex” anymore.it should be the “fairer sex”.